


Repo's Seven

by JustAndrea



Category: Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Cartoon 2018)
Genre: Gen, Human AU, Jewelry Heist, M/M, Smoking, Swearing, Threats of Violence, because this crew doesn't always know how to get along, if you guys need anything else tagged just let me know
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-12
Updated: 2020-04-12
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:20:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 25,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23618149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustAndrea/pseuds/JustAndrea
Summary: Seven unlikely teammates. One necklace. The most famous hotel in the city, and one night to pull it off. Can they do it? Possibly. Will they become friends by the end of it? Probably not - but at least they'll be rich.(Heavily inspired by the film Ocean's 8, and my own desire to see the ELoM team up again)
Relationships: Hypno-Potamus/Warren Stone, Repo Mantis (TMNT)/Todd (implied)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 14





	1. The Plan

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so... My New Year's resolution was to only focus on original work and leave my fanfiction behind, at least until I get some decent work done on my first novel. ...So far that resolution has been broken twice (thanks Ben Schwartz!Sonic and your found-family adorableness :P), and with this idea absolutely refusing to leave my head, I'm breaking it a third time. 
> 
> Still, I think I think this two-shot turned out pretty alright, so it was worth it - and with this idea now fully explored and out in the open, hopefully now I can start focusing on my novel, riiiiiight? (Please brain, I am begging you, pLEASE-!)
> 
> Anyway, as I said, this was heavily inspired by Ocean's 8. It's my first time writing a heist so forgive me if that part's a bit weak, honestly this was mostly done out of my love for these characters (PLEASE let the Evil League of Mutants team up again, I love them so much and there's so much potential there) and my wishing that there was more fan content focused on them, so that's what my main focus was on. Also, those who read my last RotTMNT human AU story may recognize a couple small details. OKAY, enough of my rambling. Hope you all enjoy what may or may not be my grand fanfic finale!

The mosquitos were buzzing loudly, smart enough to avoid both the bug zapper he had set outside his home and his hand whenever he felt like making an effort to swat at them. 

With an annoyed sneer, Repo wiped the sweat off his forehead, squinting his eyes ever so slightly. The long shadows of his junkyard piles were making it hard to see, and his fatigue only made the numbers in his head and on his clipboard run together. This was the usual sign he took to call it a day, and today was no exception. He may have been a self-proclaimed workaholic, believing that anything less was wasting time and (more importantly) money, but he wasn’t an idiot. Simply put, bad eyesight in the dark and heavy, sharp, rusty material wasn’t a good mix.

So, he drifted towards his home, built just behind the chain-link fence on the other side of the yard. Some would call it a shack, but Repo was never too picky - not when the alternative was having to pay New York rental prices and subway fares every month. The moment he jimmied open the old door, there was an impatient meow at his feet.

“I know, I know,” he grumbled, though under the gruff tone was a hint of affection that was still strong enough to reach his yellow tabby’s pointed ears. Nubbins ran ahead of him, hopping up to the counter and nearly knocking over the box of half-eaten cereal that had been set there earlier. She let out another long meow, and Repo managed to silent her with a good scritch behind the ears. He gave a small chuckle at her purrs, switching his scratching position from the top of her head to under her chin.

“I keep tellin’ ya if you get that lonely, you’re welcome to hang out with me durin’ the day. But nooo, yous gotta be all insistent that you’re an indoor cat.” Nubbins ignored this as she continued to purr and nuzzle Repo’s hand, not minding the dust and grime that had remained after a long day of work. Eh, it was just as well - eating crickets and mantises always gave her bad indigestion anyway.

Using his other hand, Repo reached up into his cupboards, and found only a couple of dead bugs and a few cans of assorted veggies and beans. ...Right. He had used up the last of the cat food yesterday morning. He sighed, opening up another cabinet. At least he still had a couple cans of tuna left, more than enough to satisfy his spoiled pet despite their 59 cent price tag.

Nubbins moved away from his hand, trying to swat at the not yet opened can. “Hold yer horses, will ya?” Repo scolded, partially interrupted by another meow. Fishing out his knife from his back pocket, he opened up the can and plopped it’s contents into Nubbins’ bowl. The tabby leapt down and lapped up the tuna, her long tail settled while her purrs only increased. Repo just shook his head at the sight, endearment winning out over annoyance. With that taken care of, he opened up a couple cans for himself and settled in for the night.

He had been trying to decide between the middle innings of a baseball game and the reruns of some old sitcom that would’ve been easy to fall asleep to when he saw it, nearly dropping the remote when he did. Muttering a curse, he sat up on his old couch and turned up the volume.

_“-exquisite piece only sees the public’s eye ‘every once in a blue moon,’ according to Arachna. However, she certainly considers next Friday’s tribute ball to be one of those special occasions!”_

Repo barely noticed the weight on the cushion shift slightly, Nubbins giving him a curious look before pawing at his arm. Repo scooped her up, scratching her ears as he smirked the TV.

“Hey snukkums… How’d yous like somethin’ a little better than dollar store tuna for supper?”

\---------------------------------

“ _Oi_. You heading out, Stone?” a voice called out to him, “I thought we would maybe grab a drink or something?”

Warren looked over his shoulder, raising an eyebrow. “I thought Fridays were our newsroom drink nights?”

“Aye, so did I,” Carly said, smirking a bit, “But eh, you know Harry. To him, it’s _always_ Friday night.”

“Hmph, whatever gets him through the week, I guess. But to the rest of us, it’s just another Wednesday.” As nice as it was laughing alongside his co-anchor at Harry’s poor attempts to score phone numbers as they comfortably drank in their favorite hole in the wall, he had better things to do. “Ask me again in two days.”

“Will do,” Carly nodded, giving him a wave before turning to walk away. She was nice enough, one of the few actual friends Warren actually had at Channel 6. Sure, that only really amounted to hanging out after work once a week and knowing more than just her full name and her preferred coffee mix, but hey, it was something! Even so, there was someone else Warren wanted to spend his night with.

So, he hurried out the tall buildings door, suppressing a shiver at the cool summer air. Sunset had already passed, and he still had a whole flight of stairs to climb and half an above-ground parking lot to traverse through before he could even get to his car. He had just started to pick up his pace when he noticed a second footsteps behind him. He slowed down slightly, telling himself it was probably just Johnson or Eastman heading the same way he was-

“Ah, so you’re not in a hurry then.”

Clenching his fists, Warren turned himself around, one of his hands already reaching towards his suit-jacket pocket. “Back off!” he shouted at the shadows. He always was good at acting tougher than he actually was. It got him this far, why stop now?

“Easy, killer, easy,” a gruff voice answered, way too amused for Warren’s liking. However, when the figure finally stepped out into the low light that hung off the parking garage’s entryway, Warren’s slight fear became disgust and mild aggravation.

“Oh, it’s just you,” he huffed, though he didn’t make a move to lower his hands. Repo couldn’t exactly blame him for that, but didn’t show any fear either. Stone wasn’t the gun type, Repo could tell, so he probably either had a legal taser or pepper spray on him. Even if it was the former, Repo wasn’t too concerned.

Sticking his hand into his own pocket, Repo pulled out a pack of smokes. “You want one?” he offered as he got one out, “I imagine it must really tire you out, readin’ all those fluff pieces of yers. What was today’s top headline? School havin’ a bake sale so they can go to D.C.? Granny in Brooklyn startin’ a charity?”

Warren narrowed his eyes, but took a cigarette anyway. It wasn’t a habit, but like weekend drinks and all nighters during political seasons, he wasn’t above doing it either. “And what was your day like?” he countered, holding out his hand for a light, “You crush enough cars to earn a _real_ paycheck or are you still a few rusty bumpers short?”

Repo exhaled, chuckling through the smoke as he obliged. “Heyyy, pretty boy’s still got some bite to ‘im, how ‘bout that!”

“What do you want, Repo?” Warren asked. They were far from smoking buddies. At best, they were acquaintances - though that didn’t stop him from knowing the lanky man’s entire story. In his business, you were either informed or you were out on your ass, and Warren had climbed too many ladders to make rookie mistakes like that.

For the few times Warren had actually managed to grab a scoop before anyone else could, Roderick “Repo” Manti had been one of his best ‘anonymous tips’. Everyone had their price, and Repo had been more than happy to sell out whoever he had to in order to get his hands on a few Benjamins. Of course, that hadn’t been the only thing Repo had been willing to do to try and make a few quick bucks…

Warren took a long drag, the smoke beginning to give him a headache. “You’re a moron if I think I’m going to hide you or any of your money from the cops.”

“Nah, I’m not in that kind of trouble. ...Not yet, anyways.” Repo leaned against the alley wall, crossing his arms as loose ash fell from his fingertips to the ground. “You know I was just kiddin’ about that whole ‘fluff piece’ thing earlier, right? After all, you should know. You’re the one who’s got himself a ticket to a certain hotel’s big fancy soiree next week, right?”

Aaaaand there it was. Warren hummed, taking another long drag before replying. “...You know the nice thing about having anonymous sources? We in the business like to say they’re risk free. After all, if no one knows who we’re talking to, they can’t blackmail us. And those who try, well- something tells me the word of a well-known news anchor is going to stand up against the word of a two-time felon.”

As much as he wanted to smack that smug look right off the blond’s face, Repo kept cool. “Who says I was gonna blackmail ya?”

“Well you’re certainly not going to pay me.”

“I might, if the paycheck’s big enough for me to split it.”

“...” Alright, that _might_ have gotten Warren’s attention, just a little. “How big are we talking, Manti?”

There was a sort of an excited shimmer in the taller man’s green eyes as he grinned at him. “Practically _priceless._ ”

“I’m a newscaster, pal. I only work with facts.”

“Is 99.4 million a big enough fact for ya?”

Warren nearly dropped his cigarette. He only knew of one item at that price point, and only one person who had it. “...You’re not suggesting-?”

“And if I am?”

“I’d say you’re insane.”

“Eh, better than moron.”

Warren scoffed. “You can be both! This is just- Do you _really_ expect me to throw my career and my life away for some hairbrained scheme and the slim chance of getting 45 million dollars?!”

Repo’s eyes became dull once more as he dropped the last of his cigarette, snuffing it out with a good stomp. “First off, it ain’t gonna be hairbrained. Second, there’s gonna be more than just the two of us involved. And even if there wasn’t, there’s no way in hell I’d give ya half.”

“You’re not exactly selling me here, Repo.”

“Then how ‘bouts a little blind faith?” Repo pushed himself off the wall. While there was a slight hunch in his back, he still stood a couple good inches above the anchorman. “Think about it. _Millions._ Yous act like you got moneybags for pockets but we both know you’re no Roker or Holt, and Channel 6 ain’t exactly a national news network.”

Even in the low lighting, Repo could still see the heat rise to Warren’s face as he glared back at him. “I may be Small Time, but I’m still worth more than you,” he snapped.

“Maybe… But you could be worth a lot more.” Repo countered, “‘Course, I don’t know what goes on in that pretty blond head of yers. You may be the type that likes spendin’ his night askin’ the Richie Riches and the Big Names of the Big Apple the same questions over and over again and not gettin’ anything out of it except for a few minutes of screentime next to the real celebrities and a nice cultural piece to run on the Saturday mornin’ news. If that’s all ya want then, hey, I’m not judgin’.”

“...” Warren stared at Repo, his glare refusing to falter while the rest of him refused to walk away. Repo stared back, his face like a statue. He was doing this with or without Warren, not caring how easy or how difficult it ended up being. Frankly, Warren didn’t care about convincing him to do otherwise, figuring that if Repo wanted to throw away his life, that was his own stupid choice. ...Just as it was Warren’s choice whether to say yes or no.

“...Just to be clear,” he slowly started to say, “If this all turns out to be a disaster like I think it’s going to be, I’m allowed to leave at any point. And, if you get caught, I’ll deny whatever you try to throw at me.”

“Fair enough.” Stone was as clear as the gel he used in his hair. Couldn’t call it an unexpected betrayal if he was already expecting it. But if everything went the way it was supposed to, it wouldn’t even matter - and as much as Repo hated to admit it - in this instance Stone was better off as an ally than a bystander. “So, you in?”

Warren frowned, glancing away. His right hand felt a bit heavier in that moment, the gold band on his finger pulling him back just enough. “Give me 24 hours. You still have your old number?”

“Wasn’t plannin’ on gettin’ a new phone anytime soon.” Repo smirked. “‘Course, even if you didn’t call me, I knows where to find ya’s.”

Warren gave him a flat look. “Gee, with an act like that you should be in gangster movies. Too bad you’re about half a century too late.”

“With the payday I’m gonna be gettin’, anything’s a possibility,” Repo quipped cockily. Warren just rolled his eyes. Not wanting to stain his fingers too much, he tossed a little less than half his cigarette away before walking into the garage.

Rush hour had died down a bit by the time he had gotten on the road, though the drive and the 90s station he usually kept his radio tuned to did little to drown out his thoughts. When he opened the door to his apartment, the smell of fried fish was both pleasant and worrying. “Welcome home, love!” he heard Ron say from the kitchen.

“What happened to that birthday party?” Warren asked as he shut the door. Entering the kitchen, his worry faded a bit when he saw the relaxed smile on his husband’s face.

“Went off without a hitch!” Ron replied, “Well, my act did anyway. The birthday boy had a bit too much cake and things got a bit messy, so they had to wrap things up a little early. _But!_ I still got paid for the entire three hours, so at least there’s that! Plus, the guests seemed to really like what they saw of me!”

Warren smiled at that. “Well, of course. I’m sure they know talent when they see it. I know I do.” Ron hummed, leaning up a bit and into the kiss Warren had initiated. It took the sizzling of the soon-to-be burnt fish for them to separate.

Thankfully, their supper hadn’t been burnt, and once it was all plated they headed over to their couch, slipping into one of their usual routines. At this point, Warren had already taken off his jacket and tie, allowing himself to be comfortable as he leaned on his husband, his mind muffled for at least a few moments as he focused on his meal and one of his guilty pleasures.

“Oh come on!” he shouted, stopping himself before he could take a bite and nearly throwing a fry at the screen in his disbelief, “Idiot, there’s only five spaces left - why would you think _any_ of them would be ‘K’? Seriously, how do these people get on this show?”

“Can’t be a matter of intelligence, that’s for sure,” Ron said, a bit amused at his husband’s over the top reaction at a Wheel of Fortune fail. Then again, he wasn’t exactly one to talk - some of the talent shows they watched could make him rant for hours. “Still, not as bad as that fellow we saw on $100,000 Pyramid that one time.”

“Ugh, don’t remind me. That was an absolute disaster!” Hearing Ron’s chuckles, it didn’t take Warren too long to settle back down as he finished up the rest of his fish and fries. Soon enough, the penultimate puzzle was solved and the station cut to commercials. Once that happened, Warren could feel Ron move his arm, wrapping it around his shoulders. 

Smirking a bit to himself, he sat his plate next to Ron’s on the coffee table and scooted over. He got ready to pucker up his lips, and-

“Is everything alright?”

...Right. There it was. Warren just barely held back a sigh. “I don’t know what you mean…” he casually replied, moving his own hand around Ron’s neck to stroke his cheek. “And if I do, I’m pretty sure it could wait until morning-”

 _“Warren.”_ Ron gave him that look. The ‘I can tell when you have something on your mind’ look. Warren pouted at that, even if a small part of him was reminded why he loved him so much - how he always felt truly seen with Ron around. “Come on, now,” he coaxed, “I know something’s troubling you. Surely it can’t be that bad.”

“Hmph, you say that now…” He had been planning on telling Ron at some point in the next 24 hours, he really had. But hey, easier said than done and all that. 

Then again, they had always supported each other through the most difficult times. Through late nights and overdue bills and only seeing each other a couple hours each day. Through him having to work weekends and do 24 hour coverage and through Ron deciding to leave his humble zookeeper job and follow his passions towards becoming a stage magician. Through- well, Warren had drawn the line at Ron trying to adopt a whole flock of doves for his act, but even love had its limits! He just hoped this whole ‘situation’ wasn’t one of them...

“Okay, so… Honey-” Ron held back an eye roll. As if he couldn’t tell when his husband was being genuinely sweet and when he was just trying to butter him up. Warren noticed this, but pressed on anyway, clearing his throat slightly before doing so. “Okay… How would you feel if I were to get involved in, let’s just say… a night’s worth of illegal activity?”

Ron stared at him. Warren gave him a sheepish smile. “Warren-”

“Did I mention that it would set us for life?” he quickly added, “Literally, _for life._ ”

“...” Ron thought back to the mere $150 bucks he had made that afternoon - his first gig in nearly a month - and sighed. “...Just what kind of ‘illegal activity’ are we talking about?”

\-------------------------------------------------------------------

When you were normally focused on doing all you could to make all the money you could, things like household chores sort of fell to the side. As far as Repo was concerned, if he could still see the floor and sit on his couch and that old, lumpy mattress he called a bed, it was clean enough.

Still, if he was going to be having people over, he figured it would be a decent idea to clean up some. At least then he wouldn’t be bugged about it - Stone would definitely have a stick up his ass about it. Besides, preparing a fine-tuned, intricate heist plan on a table half covered with fast food trash and old newspapers was just asking for trouble down the line. Like building a modified motor using dusty screws from a can.

“Mrow?” “Hey come on, get outta there.” He lightly shooed Nubbins away from his trash bag before dragging it from his kitchen to his living room area. As he kept grabbing crumpled up balls of papers and other assorted garbage, one that was colored purple caught his eye.

He knew what it was, but that didn’t stop him from uncrumpling the flyer. It almost made him laugh, how poorly it was done. It was trash before it became trash, but at the time it had still been worth a shot.

 _“You need it? We’ll get it! You want it? We got it! Repo Rodrick’s Repossessing and Scrapyard! They didn’t pay their bills, so now_ **_you’ll_ ** _get some of the savings!”_

“Unbelievable,” he mumbled to himself. Clenching his fist, he crumpled it back up easily before tossing it in the black bag.

Just as he had finished up, there was a knock at his door. No voice or demands afterwards, so it probably wasn’t a cop. Still, he kept the chain on as he answered. “What do you want?” he said through the crack.

“Good morning to you too,” Warren replied flatly. The door shut for a second before opening back up entirely.

“Heh, took ya long enough.” He knew Stone was a shoe-in. What he hadn’t been expecting, however, was the man standing next to Stone. In a way, they were a bit of a contrasting pair visually. 

Warren was as thin as a rail while this guy was a bit more round in his middle, and about a head shorter than the anchorman too. Warren was pale, blond and clean-shaven while his partner’s skin was a bit more tan, a dark goatee hanging off his chin. The only thing they had in common physically seemed to be their fashion styles. While Stone was in his usual blue suit, the other man wore a deep purple button-up shirt, black dress pants and a maroon-colored bow tie of all things.

“...This your lawyer or somethin’?”

Both of them looked indignant at that. “This is my _husband_ ,” Warren corrected, “Ron Patel.”

“Charmed,” Ron nodded, though his expression remained flat and unimpressed. Oh yeah, Repo could see how these two managed to get together.

“Yeah, sure. ...Gonna be honest here, I still don’t see how he’s involved in all this.”

“Simple. If my husband wants to get himself involved in some crazy scheme, the least I could do is give him back up,” Ron stated.

“Heh.” Repo glanced over at Warren. “What, you don’t trust me?”

“For anonymous tips and on the street information? Sure. For high stakes schemes that involve grand theft jewelry and one of the biggest names in this city? Ask me again after I’ve actually heard your plan,” Warren told him. There was a pause. “Also, Ron gets protective.” Not that he really minded that last part.

“I did say ‘for better or worse’, Ron said, sighing slightly despite having a hint of a smile on his face. The fact that they would essentially be getting two shares of the bounty was a nice touch too.

Repo took a long, hard look at Ron before crossing his arms. “Yeahhh, that’s real sweet and all,” he said as he leaned against his doorway, “But how do I know you’re not gonna slow us down? Stone can be a man on the inside easily, but what exactly can you offer?”

Ron met his gaze easily, a bit of a sparkle in his eye. “How about a little illusionary flair?” With a flick of his wrist, he produced a playing card with two red hearts on it out of thin air. “A bit of ‘mystic mojo’ as it were?”

Repo blinked slowly at him, and when he realized the shorter man wasn’t joking, he only had one thing to say: “...You’ve gotta be shittin’ me.”

“Ah, so you’re the crass type, it would seem.”

“Look, buddy-” he stomped off his front step, poking Ron right in the chest, leaving a fairly visible brownish fingerprint on the clean shirt. While Ron scowled at the action, he didn’t step back. In a way, that almost made Repo even angrier. 

“I don’t know where you get off or what Stone told ya, but this ain’t some game! We’s about to steal one of the most expensive necklaces off a dame that’ll literally have our heads while the rest of our bodies get thrown into Hard Time if we’re caught! So unless ya got somethin’ useful to offer- SCRAM!”

“...Alright,” Ron said calmly, despite his husband looking like he was about to blow a gasket, “If that’s the way you feel, I suppose I don’t have much of a chance at persuading you.”

“Hmph, good…” Repo pinched the bridge of his nose as he walked away. Great… There was a good chance Warren was out now too, god _damnit._ He was still working on getting the other members of his crew, he knew they would be able to do decent work and play their part, but without a decent man on the inside-

“Oh, sorry. Don’t mean to be a bother but- did you want these back before I go?” he heard Ron ask, followed by a slight jingle. His hands immediately went to his side pants pocket. Completely empty. Turning around, he saw the duo with smug looks on their faces, Ron lightly tossing the set of keys in his hand.

“You were saying?” Warren asked, flashing a grin.

“...You know, that I think about it, havin' a pair of fast hands on the team would really help smooth things over,” Repo said as he stepped up to the shorter man once more, “Though I gotta say, never would’a guessed someone like yous could be a pickpocketer.”

“I prefer ‘sleight of hand’ but eh, whatever works. You know, it really is amazing what you can get away with once you’ve kept someone’s eyes busy.”

Repo chuckled. “It certainly is.”

As expected, his home was met with slight grimaces and grumbles from the duo, though at least they kept their comments to themselves. As they settled in, there was another knock at the door. “Ah, good,” Repo mumbled, standing up, “Nice to know they can actually be on time without me havin’ to drag them around.”

“And who exactly is ‘them’?” Warren questioned. Repo just ignored him as he answered the door.

_“Hey Guy!” “Repooo, how have you been, man! Wow, this place is a lot smaller than I remember.” “You know, I was thinking the exact same thing! So hey, you got any snacks? ‘Cause the bus we took didn’t exactly have breakfast so-”_

“Just get in here!” he snapped, pulling them both inside. Same old Sandos, alright.

While they were expecting maybe some muscle - stealth heist or not, it was always good to have around - neither Warren nor Ron were expecting people like this. Two men about the same height, one bald with light brown skin while the other was darker with long dreads hanging off his head. Both of them, obviously proud of their physique, wore brightly colored tank tops and shorts, giving them the air of ‘spring break beachers’, much to Warren’s confusion and annoyance.

Ron however was hit with a flash of realization. “I know you two! The Sando Brothers, right? You were those acrobats - you came to Coney Island nearly every summer for a few years!”

“Yep, that was us!” the bald one - Ben - grinned, “I remember that, this place always had a great crowd!”

“We don’t exactly have the circus anymore,” his brother Carl admitted, “But hey, we can still put on a killer act!” He glanced over at Repo. “That’s what you wanted us for, right?”

“Yeah, somethin’ like that.”

“You know,” Ben said, giving him a curious look, “you had us come all this way and you haven’t even told us what we’re doing here. So… Yeah, what are we-”

“Robbery,” Repo answered bluntly, “The grandest of all robberies. Gonna go down next Friday, gonna make us all rich.”

The brothers stared Repo down. Repo stared back.

“...Cool. I’m good with robbery.” “Yeah, we could use the cash. And we didn’t really have anything going on next Friday anyway.”

“Huh… So it really is that easy, eh?” Warren said, surprised yet, when he really thought about it, not surprised at all.

Repo just chuckled. Sure, the Sandos might have only had half a brain between them, as far as Repo was concerned, but they still had skills. Fast working, fancy footwork, and could hang off a rappelling rope like no one’s business! Definitely useful to have on any crew.

“Is that all of us then?” Ron asked, looking just a bit concerned despite the brothers in front of him seeming in good spirits, “Just the five of us taking on Lady Arachna and her hotel?” 

“Not quite.” There were still two more to go. “Alright, you all get to know each other, and I’ll be back. Gotta go get some lunch. Don’t touch my stuff, don’t touch my cat unless she wants you to.”

“Wait, where are you-?” 

“Oh hey, if you’re getting something, could you pick us up a bite too?” “Yeah! Like maybe some chips or one of those boardwalk crab cakes-?”

“Sorry, can’t hear ya!” Repo shouted as he shut the door behind him.

\----------------------------------------------------

“I asked for those bloody lobster rolls ages ago!”

“S-Sorry, Chef, they’re right here!”

Rupert sneered, bringing the plate right up to his face. “...How about that, it’s actually properly cooked and not just a pile of rubbery mush. Well done, Jenkins.”

The young chef managed a smile. “Thank you, Sir, and I promise to-”

“Excuse you, but have we suddenly stopped serving?” Rupert asked.

“Well, n-no but-”

_“Then get back to your post!”_

The chef managed to whimper out a “Yes Chef, Sorry Chef!” before scurrying off. “Honestly,” Rupert mumbled, rolling his eyes as he put the plate in the window. Following that, he barked out two more orders, practically pleading with his kitchen staff to not make him wait ages for these plates as well. “Or so help me I’ll make sure the lot of you get fi-!”

**“Swaggart.”**

“...” Rupert clenched his fists tightly before forcing a calm, cheeky smile onto his mug. “Chef Rurbell, I didn’t think you would be back so soon.”

“Well I am,” the head chef replied dryly, “So how’s about you give that ‘motivation’ of yours a rest, alright?” Rupert tried to argue with her, but Annie wasn’t having any of it. “Now, Sous Chef Swaggart,” she said, giving him a steely look.

“...Yes, ma’am.” Shuffling off to the side of all commotion and controlled chaos, he yanked off his apron, making sure to grab his water bottle before stepping outside. Unbelievable. The middle of the lunch rush, and she kicks HIM out of the kitchen?! The gall!

Still, if he wanted to cook another day (and not lose yet ANOTHER restaurant job), he would need to calm down. So, he resisted the urge to punch the wall and took a seat on the back concrete steps leading out of the building. “Bunch’a morons…” he mumbled before taking a swig, “wouldn’t know how to properly grill a lamb if it bit them on the arse… Probably can’t even make a decent sammie without help!”

“Gee, who burnt your biscuits?”

With one squeeze, his bottle was totally crushed, water completely soaking his hand. “Piss off,” Rupert growled.

Repo just gave a tired huff, not the least bit threatened. “Come on, Swaggart, s’that any way to greet the guy who got you a good price for all your old pots and pans? Those things would still be rustin’ in your kitchen cabinets if it weren’t for me.”

“You also sold me a half-working toaster oven for full price!” Rupert snapped, “I oughta kick you up and down this alley just for that!”

“For the record, you could’a bought a toaster oven from anyone else,” Repo countered. That was enough to bring Rupert to his feet, which made Repo hold up his hands. “Hey, that’s in the past, and when we’re done, you’ll be able to buy a dozen toaster ovens - and a whole restaurant to put them in!”

“Hmph, what, you’ve got another scam going?” Rupert asked, crossing his arms.

That actually got Repo to scowl. “It’s not a scam-”

“Really, ‘cause it wouldn’t be the first time, after all. You itchin’ to get that security bracelet back on ya or what?”

 _“Shut it,”_ Repo hissed, “You’re lucky I’m even askin yas!”

“And just why ARE you asking me to help?”

“Hmph, let’s just say it’ll make us square.” Maybe that would finally shut him up about the stupid toaster oven, and maybe even get him to start selling him his old pans again. “Plus, I could use a chef like yous. That is, if you’re not too busy yellin’ at culinary school graduates.”

“More like dropouts,” Rupert grumbled.

“Exactly! I guarantee, you’re gonna want in on this - for yer own sakes. Come on, what time do you get off?”

Rupert continued to scowl, but eventually answered with, “less than two hours from now.”

“Perfect. Stop by my place afterwards, hear me out, and if you really don’t wanna be rich, then yous can walk away back to your little 4-star restaurant kitchen full’a people you hate. Like I said, all ya gotta do is hear me out.”

“Ugh…” What was that old saying? ‘Fool me one, shame on you. Fool me twice, smash his face in’? Something like that. He knew Repo was trouble, shady as they come and about as trustworthy as a snake. When he wasn’t straight up stealing, he was underbuying and overselling without remorse no matter who he was talking to. At the very least, there was a bit of justice in the fact that he wouldn’t be able to get away with that anymore without drawing a flood of cops to his door. ...Maybe that was why he seemed so desperate.

“...I swear, Manti,” Rupert said as he started heading back over to the door, “This had better be worth my time.”

Repo managed a grin. Another one down. “Trust me, it will be. And Swaggart, tell that boss of yours to tell _you_ to cook me up some wings and calamari to go, will ya?”

He just barely dodged a water bottle to the head for that one.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------

Suffice to say, Repo wasn’t exactly the ‘dinner party’ type. Still, he managed to scrounge together some frozen food and a few cans of this and that to make a decent dinner. Of course, it helped that Rupert was too proud to stay on the sidelines. Repo didn’t know if he had managed to find miniscule amounts of spice and ‘flavor’ as Rupert called it in his cupboards or if the guy just carried a whole spice rack in his pants pockets, but frankly he didn’t care enough to ask.

Even if it ended up being more delicious than it had any right to be, Repo still only managed to clear half his plate, his focus instead on the handmade blueprints in front of him.

The Grand Nexus Hotel. 50 floors with three different ballrooms, a sporting lounge, two bars, a restaurant and an honest to God rooftop garden that would’ve made the groundskeepers in Central Park green with envy. Thankfully, the hotel’s Birthday Tribute Ball would only be taking up a third of all that glamourous and overly expensive space. Much more manageable, even if it did make security all the more tighter.

“I still can’t believe you don’t even have your entire plan together yet,” he heard Warren say, “What was that you said earlier? ‘Have some blind faith’? Because news flash, pal, my ‘faith’ is about to run out.”

“You ever heard of not countin’ yer tires until they’re on the car?” Repo asked, “Had to make sure I had my crew together before I could really start thinkin’ about the details.” Granted, he still had one crew member left to get, but he knew how to play ball with her. She wouldn’t be any issue at all. “Besides, we’ve got a week left to put it all together. Plenty of time.”

Warren just scoffed as he complained a little more under his breath, but by this point Repo was ignoring him. His eyes focused back on the blueprints, he circled two more possible exits. He’d have to remember that the prime Grand Nexus ballroom would have its own generator too. He wrote out a quick note - and nearly messed up a word thanks to Nubbins nudging his pencil. “Little brat,” he told her as he gently rubbed her back.

“...You’d better keep her away from Swaggart, if my memory serves me correctly,” Warren said, casting a judging glance towards the ginger-haired chef.

There was a loud thud as he slapped his hand down onto the countertop. “ _That was one time!”_ Rupert shouted from the stove, “One. Time! And it was imported! It wasn’t like I went hunting for an alleycat! And deny it all you want, it’s a valid ingredient in some parts of the world!”

Grimacing, Ron sat his plate down on the floor, with Warren quickly following. “Well, just like that, I’ve lost my appetite. Good work, Swaggart.”

“Hmph, and he wonders why I don’t like him.”

Rupert tossed a glare over his shoulder. “Just so we’re clear, I’ve never liked you, Manti.”

“Oh hey, so we got somethin’ in common then. Gee, who would’a thought.”

Bored with the conversation and annoyed with all the yelling, Nubbins hopped down from the wobbly card table and trotted outside through the propped door, where the previously bored Sando Brothers were working on one of their favorite cartwheel routines.

With nothing left to keep his focus, Ron sat up a bit, trying to get a good look at Repo’s blueprints. Though to him, it barely resembled a floor plan, much less a heist plan. “You sure you’re not just leading us off to prison with this brilliant plan of yours?”

“Look, if yous guys wanna miss out on the biggest pay day of your lives, there’s the door. But I’m tellin’ ya, we’ve got this!” Ron still looked skeptical, even moreso than Warren did (which was really saying something), but he kept his mouth shut, allowing Repo to continue his work.

He’d still have to flesh a few things out, figure out a schedule once it got closer, get his hands on a couple of essential props and fake IDs, and of course he had to make sure the Dragon was on his side. But as far as he was concerned - working on it, no problem, _definitely_ no problem, and practically done already. He smiled to himself as he wrote down a few more notes. 

It was like the money was already in his hands.

\-------------------------------------

_*click, click, click*_

“-And I thought I had updated everything but- but like I said the programs just won’t load!”

_*click, click, click*_

“Do you think maybe clicked on the wrong thing? I did clean out my trash files a couple days ago, maybe that did something? Or maybe-”

 **_*click, click, click*_ ** If this doofus didn’t shut his mouth and get out of her store, she was going to end up breaking her nails, given how hard she was tapping them on the counter.

FINALLY the middle-aged man slid his out-of-date laptop over to her, along with the form he had filled out. “From what I can tell, this is going to take abouuuut… two days to repair. We’ll give you a call when it’s done, make sure you’ve got cash or card on you.”

The customer nodded, a bit distraught at not having his laptop for the weekend, but grateful nonetheless. With that, he exited the store, blessing Kendra with a bit of peace and quiet.

Taking the laptop, she stuck it under her desk. It would only take her an hour to fix. Two if she was feeling lazy or if Jeremy insisted on pulling her into another Overwatch Night with him and Jace. But hey, this moron obviously didn’t know that, and what he didn’t know certainly wouldn’t hurt her.

Glancing back to their back office, Kendra could see that her quote-unquote ‘manager’ was lying on their cot, hungover as hell. So, she fished out her phone and began scrolling through her social media.

Of course, the moment the app loaded, she heard the bell above the door ring. Growling, she turned to look at her newest headache. She had been expecting another loser looking for a cheap cell phone, or maybe some kid looking to get his fried Xbox fixed.

Instead, she saw a tall, lanky man with a bit of hump and a slight, greying pompadour, wearing a white tank top and pants that were so old she could tell if they were light purple or dirt grey.

...Well, that wasn’t too much of a surprise either, considering they used to have employees who knew how to disable trackers and security bracelets. She could do that too, for the right price. “So,” she said, not even bothering to hide her scowl, “You got some tech that needs fixing?”

“No, but I do have a job I think you’ll be interested in,” Repo replied, still grinning a bit despite the girl’s sour attitude. 

“Uh huh. Sorry pops, we don’t do house calls,” Kendra answered, “We’re a repair shop, not tech support.”

“Yeah well, this ain’t a house call. Think of it as… a little off-the-clock work, though trust me, you’ll still get paid. Heh, I’m sure not even I could get away with short changin’ the Purple Dragon.”

Kendra slowly blinked. “...So you’ve heard of me.”

“Eh, only this and that. I know they called yous a prodigy a few years ago, back before ya fizzled out.”

Taking a moment to move her amethyst-colored hair away from her eyes, she gave him a sharp glare. “If you really knew who I was, you would know that I never ‘fizzled out’.”

Repo raised an eyebrow. “Pretty sure this place would disagree,” he said as he glanced over at the rack of used cell phones and beepers that were about as old as he was.

By that point, Kendra’s eyes had completely iced over, her fists clenched. But before she could give a retort, Repo calmly continued. “If anything, i think yer talents are being completely wasted here.”

At that, she couldn’t help but huff. After all, it was the truth. If there was any justice in the world (if she hadn’t ran out of luck), she would be at the best tech school in the state- no, in the _country!_ Not that she really needed the education, but it would’ve made making a name for herself a lot easier. ...Or rather, making a better name for herself.

“Look did you come here to insult me or compliment me?” she asked. She didn’t even know this guy! But he somehow knew her, yet he didn’t seem like the creepy stalker type, nor had she seen him skulking around the shop after hours.

Repo gave her a slightly annoyed look. “It’s like I said, kid, I need ya for a job. A _big_ job, with plenty of money that I’m sure a techie like you could use.”

Well, that at least sounded promising. Even so- “You take me for some fool? Give me the details or get lost.”

Repo paused to consider his options. There was no one else around, business wasn’t exactly buzzing, and it looked like no one had bothered to fix the one security camera in over a decade. So, he moved in closer and lowered his voice. “Alright kid, here’s the truth. I’m pullin’ a job at the Grand Nexus and I’m gonna need a hacker-”

She barked out a laugh. “The Grand Nexus-?!”

 _“Keep yer voice down, will ya?!”_ The manager in the back snorted slightly, waking up just enough to turn over a little before falling unconscious once again. “Yeah, yous heard me, the Grand Nexus. I take it you’ve also heard of the party they’re havin’ over there next week? Well-”

Kendra held up her hand. “Let me stop you right there and save you a lot of heartache, old man. There is NO WAY that you can pull this off, with or without my help.”

“So you don’t think you could do it?” Repo challenged.

“Oh, I know I could do it. I just know you can’t do it. I don’t care what you’re trying to steal, it’s gonna take a lot more than a great hacker for you to walk out of there free of handcuffs! It would take-”

“A master plan?” Repo asked, “A decent crew? Every single detail planned out? Trust me, I know - and I _do_ have all those things! All I need is you.”

“And you think I’m desperate enough to say yes?”

“You don’t exactly have much to lose. Hell’uva lot less than the rest of the guys in my crew. An’ with you on our side, ya practically already got the cash in your hand! Trust me, it’ll work. All I need is you, and that pretty little tech of yers.”

She gave him another flat stare, only pursing her lips in annoyance when he dared to sneer back - like SHE was the idiot in this situation. “Uh huh... Am I supposed to be flattered?”

“You’re supposed to say yes.”

“And _you_ are crazy. And a moron.”

“You can be insane as you want when you're rich. And you can't get rich workin’ on repairs out of a store that’s too broke to spring for a rack of smartphones.”

Kendra continued to scowl, hating that he had a point. Still, it wasn’t as if she would be stuck in this dump forever. A few years down the line and a few completed projects, and all those universities and companies that had rejected her would be practically groveling at her feet! Maybe this bozo had nowhere to go but down, but she still had a chance at fame and legitimate fortune. ...Even if it would take unfairly long.

Repo seemed to know this too. So, he played his final card. “Alright, I get it. Would’a thought a kid like yous could use part of a 99.4 million payout but hey, what do I know.” He turned to leave. “Anyway, see ya around, Dragon. Gonna go see if I can find that Hamato kid, see if he’s interested-”

Just like that, Kendra’s ice melted into an electricity-filled fire. “No _fucking way!”_ she nearly shouted, “He’s just some hack, an insult to the TRUE hackers! A mediocre coder who tries to use flash to fill in for skill, and any skill that he does have is _pathetic_ . and the only reason why anyone even knows that poser’s name is because of the _connections his daddies gave him!”_

Repo paused. “...Ah, so you DO know him then.”

Kendra just growled, her fists clenched so tightly that it was a miracle her nails didn’t break her skin. She knew she was being played… She knew that this whole idea was frankly insane. The Grand Nexus was Big Mama’s turf, and no one crossed Big Mama without paying a hefty price… But damn it all, she REFUSED to let Donatello Hamato get any more wins over her!

“So… Are you interested now, or am I gonna have to call someone else?” he asked, giving her a cool look as he leaned on the counter.

“Tc’ch, if you really wanted to do this right, you wouldn’t even be considering anyone else.”

“So do we have a deal, Dragon?”

At that, Kendra smiled. “I get 10% more than everyone else. Including you.”

“Hmph… 5%. Not including me.”

“Ohh, but I thought I was essential?” she asked, batting her eyes a bit, “Someone your plan couldn’t work without?”

“Pretty sure you were the one who said ya couldn’t be swapped out with someone else, kid.”

“Pretty sure you wouldn’t still be here if it wasn’t true, _Pops._ ” 

The two stared each other down, the only noise between them being the occasional snore from the back. “...7%,” Repo said finally, “And not a penny more.”

“Done.” The two shook hands, and Repo mentally checked off another item on his mental clipboard. All the parts were there, now he just had to get to work on putting them all together.

\-------------------------------------

...All things considered, Ron really shouldn’t have been surprised by anything related to this admittedly foolish charade after seeing the rest of their ‘crew’, but he just couldn’t help himself. A girl just shy of twenty with bright purple hair and two stuffed backpacks worth of tech… he definitely hadn’t seen that coming.

A * _ding!*_ took his eyes away from Repo’s small television. Taking out his phone, he opened up the text.

**_“Tell Repo I got my interview schedule for the night of the party. I’ve got about three good windows, maybe four if I rush through a couple of the B-List celebs. Anyway, just let him know so we can get at least one more part of this plan together.”_ **

_“Will do, love,”_ Ron typed, adding a purple heart emoji.

Warren sent a pink heart in return before typing out another message. **_“Speaking of which, did Repo’s hacker ever arrive? Does he actually look like he knows what he’s doing?”_ **

_“She,”_ Ron corrected, _“And, well… she seems good. Repo says she is. Definitely a techie too. She’s also younger than I expected.”_

A few seconds passed before Warren answered. **_“How young?”_ **

_“College-aged. Maybe a bit younger.”_

The ellipses bubble flickered for a bit longer that time before his husband finally replied with a **_“What the hell did we get ourselves into?”_ **Ron could practically FEEL Warren’s regret from across the city. 

He glanced over to the corner where Kendra had settled herself, sitting cross legged on a pile of pillows and her jacket with two laptops and a smartphone at her side and a tablet (and Nubbins) in her lap. She had also set up a 3-D printer of all things in a closet.

 _“She seems to be settling in well,”_ Ron typed. Well, compared to an hour or so when she and Repo got into a screaming match when she sat her tech down over his plans. After that they had worked in stewing silence until Kendra spoke up again, handing off something she had been fidgeting before going back to her screens. _“Repo’s running an errand for her, so… that’s a good sign, right? Also, Nubbins seems to like her.”_

**_“Well good for the cat. What about the Sandos?”_ **

_“Outside training, according to them. I think they’re overestimating how much athleticism this is all going to take, but better to be prepared than not I suppose.”_ Rupert of course was at his day job, same as Warren, leaving Ron all on his own, watching TV and practicing his card tricks.

_“...It’s not too late to back out, you know. It’s not as if he has us under contract or blackmail.”_ And a scrapyard worker couldn’t do much to hurt either of their careers either.

**_“Oh believe me, I’ve thought about it… but then I remember how much any portion of $99.4mil is.”_ ** A second passed before he added. **_“Plus I still need to take you on a real honeymoon.”_ **

Ron smiled softly to himself. _“Hush, you. The night of our wedding was enough for me.”_

**_“Yeah well, thanks to that wine your mother sent us, I still can’t remember half of it.”_ **

_“Oh trust me, you serenading me with that Elton John medley of yours was completely unforgettable.”_ Warren sent him a facepalm emoji, and Ron just chuckled.

 **_“All that aside, we both deserve a real honeymoon, you deserve a chance to go after your dream without worry...”_ **Ron sighed a bit, at that and more. While Warren didn’t say it, they both knew that Channel 6 wouldn’t need Warren forever, and they hadn’t ever had a ton in their savings to begin with. Whether it was self-serving or just a fact of life, they couldn’t turn down a chance at this much money.

Ron was pulled out of his melancholy thoughts with another _*ding!*_ . **_“Besides, if things go wrong, I’ll make sure NONE of it falls on us. Promise.”_ **

_“I know.”_ “Heh…” That was his Warren, alright. No matter how difficult things were or how hard they may seem, Warren always made sure to do his damndest to protect the two of them - to fight for them, not caring who or what his opponent was. It truly was admirable, one of the many things he loved about him. 

“Hey. Patel.” Ron looked over at the corner, frowning at Kendra’s dull expression. “Your husband’s a total cornball. And he overestimates just how much he would be able to do, should things go belly up on the mission.”

“Hmph, well, that may be your opinion, but-” he paused. “Wait, how did you-?”

“You’re on a cell phone, they aren’t that hard to hack,” Kendra answered, “I should know, I put together my first phone in the 7th grade. Also, if either of you screw me over at any point during any of this, I’m doxxing you both.”

Ron scowled back at her. _“Well, there goes the hope of there being one less headache on this team...”_ he typed out, not caring if she could somehow read his texts. Thankfully, all she did in retaliation was flip him off. After all, she had more important things to do than make some wannabee stage magician’s phone glitch out.

Her tablet chimed loudly, a new screen popping up. “Ugh, finally!” she grumbled as she slid her fingers across it, sitting up a bit straighter. Nubbins gave the device a sleepy glance before setting her head back down, only needing to adjust herself slightly before getting comfortable once again.

\----------------------------------

“...Alright, you’re all signed in. Thanks for your help!” The delivery men nodded at him before wheeling their boxes towards the elevator. 

With no guests to attend to or tasks to complete - he always did pride himself on making sure his- correction, _his boss’_ lobby was spick and span! - the bellhop decided that a small break couldn’t hurt. Even while being on the relatively young side, he wasn’t the type to whip out his phone or play around on the computer. No, he had a slightly different vice.

Reaching into one of the desk drawers, he pulled out a magazine with a glossy cover, the gorgeous woman on it being just enough to bring a smile to his face. He flipped to where he had left off, and leaned back in his chair just a little. He skipped over a couple of the shorter articles as he moved onto the main features of the magazine. The personal stuff was interesting, sure, but he wanted to get to the ‘main event’ as it were, while he still had some time to-

“‘Scuse me?”

 _“Eep-!”_ Yelping slightly, the bellhop quickly put the magazine down. “W-Welcome to the Grand Nexus Hotel, are you checking in?” he recited, more than familiar with his usual front desk script.

If the older gentleman in front of him had seen anything, he didn’t say so. “Nah. No offense but this place is a bit too fancy for me. Couldn’t afford it in a million years,” he said, chuckling a little, “I’m just here to drop off a package.”

“Heh, join the club,” the bellhop replied, relaxing just a little. It was only Monday and the hotel was already receiving everything from decor to flowers to one-of-a-kind silverware for their party that weekend. Not noticing any sort of logo on his cap or collared shirt, he asked, “So, which company are you-?”

“Oh, no I’m delivering to a guest,” the man corrected, “They already paid the fee, I just gotta figure out which room they’re in.”

“Oh. Yeah, sure.” Huh. First time something like that has happened. He hadn’t even realized the hotel had a policy on requesting deliveries, other than for things like food or dry cleaning. What else would someone need delivered on vaca-

"So-" The delivery man casually glanced at the desk, as well as the bellhop’s name tag. “Stanley. Ballet, huh?”

Stanley flinched again. “E-Er-!” Smiling sheepishly, he pushed his issue of Pointe Magazine that he definitely wasn’t supposed to be reading while on the clock further under the keyboard. “Well, uh-”

“Hey, I won’t tell if you won’t,” the delivery man smiled, “Not that I can blame ya, those ballerinas are somethin’ else.”

“Heh, yeah. It’s just incredible what some of them can pull off… I love reading behind the scenes stuff about upcoming shows,” Stanley admitted, “Not to mention all the great training advice and tips Pointe usually has. I mean, I’m just an amateur so… But, they seem pretty good to me!”

“Yeah,” the older man nodded, leaning on the counter a bit. He was thankful the Grand Nexus still used desktop computers instead of laptops, otherwise he would have had way less cover. “And hey, I’m sure even a couple’a so-called ‘amateurs’ like us can still tell a good thing when we sees it.”

Stanley chuckled. “I guess so. Hey, did you happen to catch last month’s performance at the Lincoln Center?”

“Oh man! Buddy, that wasn’t just a show, that was an experience!”

“You’re so lucky! I haven’t been able to catch a professional show since last year’s Dance Fest! Although, some of the dance clubs around here still have a lot of talent. There was this one night at this place in Queens-”

Repo nodded along, only half-listening to every word the bellhop rambled out. Thankfully, he was so busy talking about his minor experiences in Jazz Dance and DDR competitions and gushing about some of the pros he had seen in his magazines and on Youtube that he hadn’t even noticed the malware being installed on the hotel’s computer, thanks to Kendra’s little device.

“-it would just be so incredible, you know?”

“Uh huh, oh yeah, I hear ya. And you know, this has been one of the best conversations I’ve had in awhile, but I kinda gotta get goin’, soooo…”

“Oh! Gosh, right. Sorry!” Stanley winced, quickly getting into the virtual guestbook, “Um, who are you delivering to, Sir?”

Repo glanced down at the blank label on the empty box. “Arnold Jones.”

Stanley typed it in. “Hmm… I’m sorry but, I’m not seeing a guest with that name.”

“Huh. Ya sure? It says he’s in Room 351.”

The bellhop blinked at that. “...Sir, we don’t have a Room 351. I think you may have the wrong hotel.” Thankfully, the seemingly-normal delivery man didn’t get too angry at this.

“Aw geez, really? Must’a gotten turned around somewhere, or it could’a been a label mix-up.”

“Well, if you’d like I can try to help you out,” Stanley offered, “Maybe get you some directions or-?”

But Repo waved him off, taking his box off the counter. “Nah, it’s fine. I’ll just call up my boss, he’ll set me straight. Anyway, sorry for wastin’ your time.”

“Oh no, it’s fine, really! It was nice meeting you, Sir!”

He smiled, tipping his cap a bit. “Heh, nice meetin’ you too, kid.” With that, Repo walked out of the Grand Nexus’ exit and into an alleyway near it, chucking his ‘delivery’ into an open dumpster. He then lit up a cigarette, and by the time he had finished smoking it, Kendra had sent him a single text message:

**_“I’m in.”_ **

Back at his house, Kendra’s fingers were flying across her laptop keys. The Nexus’ firewalls were a piece of cake for a hacker like her. However, the physical security of the place was MASSIVE. She’d need a dozen anonymous VPNs _at least_ just to hook up to all the security cameras without being noticed or traced, not to mention the system that kept guest doors and Mama’s personal spaces locked. 

She could still do it, but it would take more than a few hours to figure out. In the meantime, she had a more urgent task to complete. Getting into the hotel’s sensitive and private folders, it didn’t take her long to find all the information she could ever need for their Grand Nexus Birthday-Tribute Ball.

Moving into a specific spreadsheet, she deleted one of the caterers and typed in their replacement. She then used the hotel’s email system to send the same lists, numbers and other information that every other caterer had received. A quick dip into the hotel’s accounting files made transferring payments from one now-cancelled order to another pretty easy too.

Kendra didn’t believe in relying on luck over skills, but even she had to admit it was a pretty lucky break that the restaurant Rupert worked at specialized in English-themed cuisine - a perfectly natural choice for Lady Arachna that no one would question (and if they did, they certainly wouldn’t do so out loud). 

Across the city at Rurbell’s, Chef Annie was still staring at her computer in shock. If it was anyone else asking for a catering job at this short of a notice, she would have denied them flat out. But this wasn’t any customer, and whatever Big Mama wanted, Big Mama usually got. 

It was crazy to try and put together such a huge meal in less than a week… but it was even crazier to turn down such a huge opportunity (not to mention the huge paycheck). So, steadying herself, Annie began looking through the list of dishes that were being requested, as well as the list of guest allergies that they’d have to keep in mind.

In the kitchen, Rupert smirked as he put his phone away. “Gotta hand it to ‘em,” he mumbled, moving back over to one of the stoves, “Didn’t think they’d be able to pull it off.”

Maybe, should things keep going as planned, they would ALL be able to pull this off. As he began cooking up more bangers and mash, Rupert briefly wondered if it was too soon to begin looking at real estate options for his future restaurant...

\--------------------------------------------------

In the days leading up to the party, Repo did the bare minimum of his scrapyard job, doing just enough to keep the lights on and look busy, should anyone pass by and wonder why his junk yard was quieter than usual. 

But as soon as he was done with his work for the day, he would isolate himself in his bedroom (it was easier than trying to argue with Kendra or Warren over space) and work out every single detail of his plan. 

It was mostly complete, but he’d be a fool if he didn’t look at it from every angle. After making too many careless mistakes in the past - too cocky to believe he’d get caught or too focused on the short term gain - he was going to make damn sure he didn’t make any this time.

With Repo isolating himself during this process - save for letting Nubbins in whenever she scratched at the door, allowing her to snuggle on his lap - the rest of the crew prepared in their own ways, whether it be physically, mentally or with technology. It wasn’t until two days before the party that it felt like they had made their next major step towards a truly flawless plan...

The five of them grouped around the piece, staring at it. To say they were amazed would be an understatement. Every single feature - the metal, the shape, the size, the gems…

“...Looks pretty perfect to me!” Ben said, Carl nodding along with him.

“Yeah well, we aren’t trying to fool people like you,” Warren sneered slightly before softening, “Though, you’re not wrong.”

“Honestly, if I didn’t know any better, I would’ve thought we already stole it,” Ron admitted.

Even Rupert, who had been trained in looking at the finer details of things (of food, specifically, being able to judge the texture and consistency of most things at a glance) had to admit, it was nearly flawless. “It may look the part, but will it fool her?”

“Please,” Kendra scoffed, “She said so herself that she barely wears the thing, and she’s sure not going to try and sell it anytime soon. It doesn’t have to pass a jewelry inspection, it just has to look the part.” And while Big Mama didn’t wear it all the time, she sure did like showing it off and bragging about it every chance she got. 

There were plenty of HD pictures of the necklace, and after a bit more research and two days of mapping out every single detail on a digital version of the piece, she was confident that her 3-D printer and a bit of high quality costume jewelry had given them all they needed to fool anyone they would need to.

“Alright, so we’ve got the decoy,” Ron said, quickly adding, “Good work, by the way-”

“I know.”

“-But we still don’t know we’ll make the swap!”

“Or how we’ll avoid her army of guards,” Rupert added.

“Or how we’ll get out of there without our pockets getting checked,” Warren continued.

“Wait, what did Repo want us to do again?” Carl asked. When everyone gave him a tired look, he explained, “I know he wants us to steal the necklace but like, what are we gonna do to get it in the first place?!”

“Yeah,” Ben scowled, “I mean, we can’t just go up to her and grab it, right? Pretty sure that wouldn’t work.”

“Well, if you would all just sit down and _listen_ , you’ll find out.”

Everyone looked towards Repo, who was standing in his now-open bedroom doorway. His face was tired, but the greens of his eyes were still bright, looking more awake than he had ever been. In his arms was a clipboard and several separate sheets of paper, along with their homemade schematic of the hotel.

Not having much of a choice, the six of them sat down on either the couch or the floor. Nodding, Repo handed out the papers, pinned his schematic up on the wall, and began his presentation.

The next two hours were spent going over every single step in great detail, making sure that everyone was on the same page. After all, any instance of miscommunication could spell doom for them all. He was patient, thorough - he didn’t even snap when one of his crew members asked a question, even if it seemed like a dumb question to him.

When he finally finished, he took a deep breath and looked at his team. “So… Any other questions?”

There was a pause. Ben raised his hand. “So, what do we do if one of us gets caught?”

“Bluff like your life depends on it, ‘cause it does,” Repo answered bluntly, “If that don’t work, get yourself outta there however you can. And if THAT don’t work, knock ‘em out.”

“But uh, shouldn’t knocking them out be the first thing we do?” Carl asked, “You know, just in case? It wouldn’t be that hard. Well, not for us, at least.”

 _“Ahem_ , I’m pretty sure I could knock out someone if I needed to,” Warren said coolly.

Rupert gave a laugh. “You’d likely bust your own hand first before a twig like you could knock anyone out.” Warren glared at the chef, but Repo broke them up before a fight could start.

“Didn’t any’a yous hear me?! Knockin’ someone out is our _last resort!_ We’re in the business of robbin’ folks, not breakin’ legs and bustin’ skulls!”

“I don’t think any of us said anything about ‘breaking legs’,” Warren dryly retorted before mumbling, “Someone likes being a cliche...”

“You know, I’ve actually been practicing a bit of hypnosis,” Ron spoke up, “That may be a bit quicker than knocking someone out - and quite a bit quieter too!”

“Eh, a drone with strong enough electric or sonic pulse can do the same thing,” Kendra shrugged.

Repo groaned, facepalming. “What did I just- Look, forget the knocking out part, alright? No one’s gonna get caught if we all stick to the plan, alright?! Now… any OTHER questions?”

“Yeah, I’ve got one,” Rupert spoke up. Everyone was expecting some sort of complaint, or even an insult. But as the ginger-haired chef looked at Repo, leaning forward a bit with his face completely serious, only having a hint of a sneer, there was only one question he had for him: “Are you sure this is going to work?”

“As sure as I’m even gonna be,” Repo replied, not breaking their gaze, “And I’m just gonna say this now. If any’a yous wants to back out, this is your last chance to do it. We still got all of tomorrow to get through before this job, that’s just enough time to adjust the plan for any suddenly-missing pieces. So, unless you’re plannin’ personally screw me and the rest of us over Friday night, if you’re done with all’a this then there’s the door.”

His crew looked at him, and then at each other. But as the seconds ticked away, no one moved towards the door.

“...Well alright then,” Repo nodded, a hint of a smile on his face, “I guess we’ve all got a date with a necklace.”

Because of how late it was, the seven of them ended up pitching in a few bucks each and ordering pizza. While he was too tired to cook up a proper meal, Rupert was also too proud to rely on just take-out for his supper. So, he walked over to the bodega down the street to pick up ingredients for a quick salad and side. Everyone else relaxed as they waited, though the hotel layout stayed pinned to the wall. Occasionally, they would study it or run through their part of the plan silently. No one wanted to be the weak link - none of them could afford to be.

Whether it was out of selfishness, self-preservation, or even out of protecting their teammates along with themselves, it was there. Repo could see it in their faces, and he had to admit… he appreciated it.

At some point, someone had turned on the TV, switching it to a local channel just in time for some reality show that was at best something to make fun of and at worst decent background noise. The pizzas arrived just as Rupert was finishing up his dishes, allowing everyone to fill their plates. Conversation came and went with the commercial breaks, and Nubbins would alternate between nearby laps and the floor, depending on what was available.

When she had finished eating, Kendra picked up her tablet. In between prep work and hacking work, she had amounted quite the online shopping list. Whoever said diamonds were a girl’s best friend was sorely mistaken - clearly stainless steel, purple-tinted titanium and the highest grade circuit boards she could find outside of eBay were the only companions she needed.

Still, while money wouldn’t exactly be an issue for her after all of this was over, she was still annoyed at the shipping cost for some of the items. “...I’m going to Japan,” she mumbled, just loud enough to be heard over the voice of the obnoxious celebrity on-screen.

The Sandos glanced over at her. “Why Japan?” Ben asked.

“Duh, it’s practically the tech capital of the world,” Kendra answered, smirking, “Plus, I’d say after all this I deserve a vacation, and I don’t do beaches or nature hikes.”

Warren gave a small huff at that, lifting his head up from Ron’s shoulder just enough to glance over at her. “Not that that’s a surprise, considering your whole tech thing, though I’d still say you’re missing out, kid.” And after being a reporter on the East Coast, being one on the West Coast wouldn’t be that big of a difference - not to him, at least.

Smiling softly, Ron shrugged only one of his elbows. “Eh, sunny beaches aren’t everything. A nice house and not having to worry about bills for a few years is enough for me. Just a chance to relax, and the freedom to do whatever you felt like doing without having to budget for it. ...Well, all that and maybe a new wardrobe, just to splurge a little.” He had been looking at the sequined tuxedos that the showman in him just couldn’t resist.

Smiling, Warren glanced up at him. “See, _this_ is why I married you.”

“Bah.” Rupert waved them off, “You lot can leave if you want, but I have all I need right here in the Big Apple.”

“Really?” Carl said, genuinely surprised, “You wouldn’t go back to London?”

“First off, I’m from Stratford. Secondly, why go across the pond when I’ve got everything I need right here?” Rupert asked, “Prime real estate that’s just waiting for a chef like me to waltz in and turn it into a kingdom of cuisine, not to mention having one of the biggest melting pots of eaters right here, eager to be blown away by my flavors. And if you can make it here, you can make it _everywhere_.”

“Yeah,” Repo smirked, “And hey, if that doesn’t work you can always open up a hot dog stand in Times Square. Pretty much the same thing as a fancy schmancy restaurant, right?”

Rupert scoffed at that. “I’d sooner eat my chef’s jacket.”

“Hey, I’m just sayin’, it’s an option.”

“Well, I think it’d be pretty fun to do a road trip,” Ben spoke up, “Don’t get me wrong, New York is great and all, but there’s a lot of other great places out there too! And going around the country, I’d kinda be like the old days for us…”

“Yeah!” Carl grinned, “And hey, with the money we’re going to have, we could probably start the circus up again too! Maybe we could do that lobster claw juggling-tumbling act we always talked about!” “Oh yeah, and the crab-cobatics routine! People would love that!”

“...I’ll be honest, I would actually be interested in seeing what exactly ‘crab-cobatics’ would entail,” Ron admitted.

“Okay, so, first we’d have to get some crabs.” “Yeah, and then we’d get a tightrope and some hoops, and whatever else you need for training crabs-”

“What about you, pops?” Kendra asked, looking over at Repo, “You got any big plans for your share?” Given that he had been the one to be the most gung-ho about this whole thing, she figured he must’ve had bigger plans than any of them.

But Repo just continued stroking his cat, shrugging slightly as he kept his eyes on the TV. “Dunno, but I’m sure I’ll think of something.” Not caring enough to push for details, Kendra turned her attention back to her tablet while Warren and Rupert kept trying to explain to the pair of knucklehead brothers that no, there was _no way_ you could train a crab to do cartwheels.

As the night rolled on, his crew left his old home one by one, wanting to get some decent rest and possibly set up an alibi before the big night. Repo eventually followed their lead and dragged himself to bed, and by the time the sun had risen, he was ready to get back to his usual work. Crushing cars, taking inventory, inspecting materials, calling up other local scrappers for a forced second opinion on the prices he had assigned to his items, chucking stuff into his recycling pile, and even interacting with a customer! That was certainly a rarity these days. Some bozo who was trying to fix up his father’s old car and probably didn’t know what he was doing, but hey, he would take it.

The day passed by quicker than usual, but the moment Repo stepped back inside his home, time slowed to a crawl. He tried to pass the time by watching tv, going over his numbers, even getting out Nubbins’ favorite old jingle-toy, the two of them managing to play with it for over an hour or so. When it came time for bed, he was hoping the slight soreness of his body would override his thoughts like it usually did. But when he woke up three separate times in the same hour, he knew there was only one thing that would get him to relax.

He checked on Nubbins, making sure that she would be alright for a few hours, before grabbing his jacket. He took a smoke outside his truck before getting in it, rolling down the windows and turning on the lights. “Gonna have to change that muffler soon,” he grumbled as he pulled out of his scrapyard and onto the empty street, driving under the lights of the Big Apple and heading towards the green horizon...

If Repo was describing himself, he wouldn’t say that he was a morning person by choice. It just made the most sense to start his daily work as soon as possible to get the most done, simple as that. Hell, even on mornings where he had a headache or a hangover, he still pulled himself out of bed by 9:30 at least, not caring if it nearly killed him if it meant getting an extra few bucks out of the day. Still, there was something about the quiet early morning that was… peaceful, in a cheesy sort of way.

Eyes still burning slightly from the wind of the drive, Repo closed them as he set his head down. Still too early for most birds, though the sound of crickets was still present. Breathing in, he savored the wooded, leafy scent of the area. Maybe it wasn’t the smell of exhaust fumes and motor oil, but it was good enough.

He nearly dozed off when he heard the sound of something being set in front of him. Sitting up a bit, he was greeted by the sight of scrambled eggs, baby blueberry muffins, a piece of toast and-

Repo blinked. “...Since when do you make hot chocolate for breakfast?”

“Eh, just figured you could use an extra treat,” Todd replied as he sat down, “Plus, if you still want to get some rest later, coffee isn’t really the best option.”

“Hmph…” At least it wasn’t that organic tea crap he tried to get him to drink last time, plus hot chocolate had sugar in it. ‘Heh, wouldn’t that be a laugh,’ he thought to himself as he lifted the mug, briefly noting the pink and yellow mini marshmallows floating near its dark brown surface, ‘me going through all this work only to end up fallin’ asleep at the wheel and crashing into some ditch…’ Pushing that thought aside, he took a long sip, allowing the warmth from the drink to bloom in his chest, savoring the somehow perfect taste on his tongue.

“...I still don’t know how the hell you’re able to do that,” Repo mumbled after putting the mug back down. Whether it was hot chocolate or lemonade or juice - even a glass of water made by the guy often ended up being one of the best things he ever drank. It would’ve been infuriating, had it not been so delicious.

“Just a talent, I suppose!” Todd said, chuckling a bit at the hidden compliment, “Though having a tried-and-true recipe does help!” He paused, letting Repo get a few more bites and sips in before speaking up once more. “So, tonight’s the big night, huh?” he asked, his voice a bit quieter now.

“Yep,” Repo answered, eyes still firmly on his breakfast platter.

“Got everything worked out?”

“Mmhm.”

“Good. Now that the hard part’s taken care of, all you’ve gotta do is believe that you guys can do it!”

Repo gave a short laugh at that. Classic Todd, alright. Here they were, talking about the grand theft jewelry he was about to commit, and Todd was acting like some motivational life coach. Not that it was unexpected, the guy really was too supportive - too nice - for his own good sometimes. It made sense that the only crimes the guy ever committed was not paying his bills on time due to buying too many squeaky toys and treats, and punching a known animal abuser’s lights out.

“For the record, the actual heist is the hard part,” Repo told him, “And I believe in myself and my crew _and_ my plan plenty, but you can’t exactly guarantee success as belief.” He knew better than anyone that life didn’t guarantee anything. “That’s like dependin’ on luck - sooner or later you’re gonna fall flat on your face.”

“True. But you wouldn’t have gotten this far without believing that you could pull it off, right?” Todd countered, “I’m just saying, make sure you keep it in mind, okay?”

“Yeah yeah…” Picking up another mini muffin, Repo munched on it thoughtfully, his eyes softening a little. “...And you still remember our arrangement, right? You’ll make sure that nothin’ happens to Nubbins if somethin’ happens to me?”

Todd nodded. “Of course.”

“Good…” Catching a couple fast blurs out of the corner of his eye, he suddenly felt a couple pairs of paws climb up onto his knee, whining for a bite. Scowling, he reached down to shoo them away, and got the bread and muffin crumbs licked off his fingers for it. “Ugh… Just make sure your mutts don’t bully my cat.”

“Aww, don’t worry! My pups would treat her like one of their own! Especially Dennis and Momo, they just love making new friends!” The two pups barked, seemingly agreeing, before running off again to grab a nearby stick. Unamused, Repo just wiped his hand on the bottom half of his jacket before getting back to eating.

The sky changed from purple to pink as the sun rose over the treetops, light cutting through the forest fog and shining onto the dew-covered grass. When he had cleaned his plate, Todd made him a thermos of hot chocolate to go. As he handed it off, he leaned up and gave Repo a quick kiss, his blond mustache tickling slightly his cheek slightly before Todd moved his face down to the crook of his neck. “Good luck…”

Repo said nothing in return, his eyes closed once more as he allowed himself this small moment of comfort hidden amongst the oak trees.


	2. The Heist

The crowd was abuzz, though Warren could still spot his husband in the sea of socialites and celebrities. As for the rest of his crew, they were nowhere to be found despite agreeing to meet at the party rather than at Repo’s place. Then again, Warren supposed that was a good thing. If he couldn’t pick them out of a high-class crowd, chances were Arachna’s guards couldn’t either.

“Mr. Stone?” his on-site director told him, bringing his wandering gaze back to her, “One minute ‘till rolling!”

Warren nodded, putting his game face on. He ran his fingers through his poofy hair, doing one last loose strands check before straightening his tie. His cameraman began to count him in. _Showtime._

“Good evening, New York!” Warren smiled, completely in his element, “This is Warren Stone reporting live from the Grand Nexus Birthday Ball! For 100 years now, this gem of a hotel has remained one of our city’s brightest treasures, visited by nearly every type of person you could imagine from doctors and governors to royals and Hollywood’s best and brightest! Tonight, we’re here to not only celebrate the Grand Nexus’ birthday, but the legacy of both it and the woman who built it…”

It was a pain the ass trying to park through so much traffic and fanfare, but Repo had managed to park his truck a couple blocks away from the hotel, snagging the very last spot available. Walking all the way to the Nexus in a stiff pair of shiny black shoes wasn’t exactly a stroll down the beach either, but by that point, Repo was too caught up in the Heist Mindset for it to really matter. Had it not looked out of place, he might have brought his clipboard.

Standing on the edge of the crowd, he mentally went down the list: Warren was up front with the other reporters and newscasters, and if he was there so was Ron. Rupert was most likely inside already with the other chefs. The Sando Brothers were hopefully in their locations already as well - they weren’t the brightest, but at least they weren’t plan ruining-ly stupid. And Kendra-

As if on cue, Repo’s phone dinged. Even on his crappy little flip phone, he could tell that the picture she sent him was of the hotel’s Grand Ballroom, the staff in it finishing up a few last minute touches. Good, they were all in place - and not a moment too soon, as it turned out.

The crowd erupted with applause as the infamous Morganna Arachna walked through the hotel doors, with her adorable bloodhound, Gus, trotting out beside her. She smiled sweetly, tilting her head ever so slightly so that the bits of silver in the blue frames of her glasses sparkled in the light. Her white hair was done up in a picture perfect bouffant, a style she had made famous after years of wearing it. The red lipstick perfectly painted on her lips tied her whole face together.

Her dress looked like a queen’s, a dark purple base with layers of black ruffles cascading down her skirt and a dark pink wrap around her shoulders. However, her outfit could just _barely_ hold a candle to the true eye-catcher: The Ruby Spider.

Placed on a round piece of gold was a blood red ruby surrounded by tiny alexandrite stones. Connected to the gold were six small pieces of jade framed with silver. It hung from a main silver chain, surrounded by smaller chains that dipped or hung loose, the metal lightly adorned with tiny diamonds like dewdrops on a spider’s webs.

Smiling at her adoring public, Morganna lightly touched her necklace as she bowed slightly. “Hello, hello!” she greeted, giving a sweeping wave, “My, aren’t we enthusiastic tonight? You know, it really does warm my heart to see you all here. So, are you all ready to kick up our heels, lift our spirits to the ceilings and celebrate the night away?” The crowd gave another cheer, making Morganna giggle. 

“Hmph.” Repo held back a scoff. Arachna sure was good at pulling off the ‘innocent high-class lady’ act, wasn’t she? Sure, she might have had a few enemies here and there, but she had plenty of fans as well. But whether they were an admirer or a competitor, nearly everyone in the city knew who Lady Morganna Arachna was.

Born into an old money family, she would have been perfectly fine had she sat back and enjoyed the silver spoon in her mouth. But Morganna wasn’t one for dilly dallying when there were opportunities abound, so she took it upon herself to take her grandmother’s old hotel to new heights (literally, considering it had started out only having three floors). Of course, the hotel industry wasn’t the only thing she had a hand in. Philanthropy, antiquing, underground fighting rings, deals in the dark with everyone from gangs to other elites, various semi-legal to illegal business tactics, purebred dog breeding - honestly the list just went on.

For some, her nickname came from how motherly she seemed - a modern day queen smiling down at her child-like subjects. For others, the title came from dangerous knowledge, understanding very well how much of a true kingpin she could be…

“Well, I don’t want to make you all wait any longer. What’s say we get this fantabulous soiree started?” She and her pup walked back inside, followed shortly by her personal guards while her bellhops welcomed everyone else in, making sure to check invitations while doing so.

Though Repo managed to slip out of the incoming crowd unnoticed, Ron was stopped at the door. “Invitation please,” a bellhop with a rather huge head asked.

“Of course!” Ron smiled, handing over his Plus One. The bellhop studied it carefully, making sure it was legit. “See, that’s my dear husband’s name right-” He had moved into the bellhop’s space to try and point it out, but the large man shot him a glare. “Right, apologies,” Ron said, stepping back slightly and putting his hands up a bit for good measure.

“Hmph…” The bellhop went back to studying the paper. He did recognize the newscaster’s name on it, but better safe than sorry. Once he was sure that it was on the level, he handed it back and wished Ron a good evening.

“And to you as well, my good man!” Ron smiled. Walking past the bellhop, his smile remained as he touched the bellhop’s plastic keycard, tucked safely away up his sleeve.

The Nexus’ grand ballroom truly was a thing of beauty, the shades of red and brown on the walls pairing perfectly with the green and gold detailing, shining like she had actually sealed and fused lines of gold and pieces of jade into the panelling and pillars. The huge skylights made the ballroom seem even bigger than it already seemed, and the gorgeous crystal chandeliers just pulled the whole thing together. Old portraits of previous Grand Nexus owners had also been dragged out - a whole line of powerful and VERY wealthy Arachna women, ending with Morganna herself - and hung tastefully behind the long dining tables, where the 250 party guests would be eating their supper while the rest of the space remained clear for mingling or perhaps even dancing.

“I’ve gotta hand it to her, she certainly knows how to decorate,” Ron mumbled. The few paparazzi members that had been allowed inside were still taking footage and either briefly explaining to their cameras the history of the hotel or talking to certain celebrities about their experiences at the Grand Nexus. Warren was one of the lucky ones who was able to speak with Morganna first, allowing her to gush about her and her hotel’s many successes, perfectly distracted.

Many of the other guests seemed impressed and enchanted with the ballroom as well, taking it all in while others were more interested in grabbing drinks from the open bar in the small lounge right next door. Still, as nice as a drink would have been, Ron still had one last thing to do before he could relax for a while.

Playing it cool, he walked out of the ballroom and (after making sure the coast was clear) went down one of the more open halls that (luckily) went around the main lobby, and therefore also went around most of the Nexus staff that was currently on duty. Still, the deeper Ron went into the hotel, the more careful he was. He’d already passed an open restroom, so using that old excuse wouldn’t get him very far.

When he finally reached the door he was looking for, Ron put his hand on it, and paused. Glancing up into a corner, he saw the security camera they had been expecting. The camera zoomed in… and then zoomed out. Once it did this two more times, assuring that Kendra was controlling the cameras, Ron nodded and pressed the keycard to the security pad on the door, unlocking it and disabling the alarm.

“Hellooo…?” Ron quietly called out into the small alleyway. He then blinked. ‘...Wow, even the alley behind the Grand Nexus seemed somewhat pristine and exclusive,’ he thought to himself.

Crouching on the ground, Ben and Carl quickly stood up and rushed over to the door - with Carl dressed in a suit that matched the uniform the hotel’s waiters wore well enough, his dreadlocks tied in a neat bun, while Ben was just in ordinary street clothes. “Finally,” Ben grumbled.

Catching that, Ron gave him a small scowl. “Come on, I didn’t take that long. Besides, if I had rushed, I probably wouldn’t even be here right now.”

“Were you still able to get the keycard?” Carl asked.

The amatuer magician’s expression flattened at that. “...Again, if I hadn’t, I wouldn’t even be- Oh nevermind. Here-” he handed Carl the card, “Don’t forget to leave it behind,” Ron reminded them.

“We know.” “Got it.” With that, the Sando Brothers went one way while Ron started heading back towards the party, a bit more relaxed now.

Act One down, now it would be on to Act Two…

\------------------------------------------------

With so many different chefs from several different restaurants and catering companies all needing to get their prepped ingredients cooked and plated, the Grand Nexus kitchen was the busiest it had ever been! Thankfully, as the night started to get going and the first couple courses went out, the kitchen became a bit less frantic.

Not that Rupert had really minded either way. In the midst of all the early chaos, it had been easy for him to duck into the pantry for an extra moment or two, a microplane hidden in his hand.

“Alright everyone,” Chef Annie called out, “Our course is up next, and I want those plates to be **perfect!** Understand?”

“Yes Chef!” Rupert and his other chefs called back. There were several plates of bacon-wrapped prunes with toast ready to go out, but only one would go out to the Guest of Honor. As he grated white cheese onto the dish, Rupert hung back until the very last second. 

Then, as Annie yelled for the last of the plates to be brought up, Rupert took the pinch of lemon zest out of his jacket pocket and quickly sprinkled it over his Devils on Horseback before barreling over to the pick-up table, practically shoving it into the waiter’s hands as he placed his plate in front of all the others. There was a small chance this would go wrong, but honestly what kind of foolish waiter _wouldn’t_ serve Big Mama first? Even so, Rupert admittedly held his breath as he watched his and all the other plates go out onto the ballroom floor.

“-and well, you know what they say. If you want something done _truly_ right, you’ll just have to buy it out and run it yourself. Although, threatening them with a visit from my accounts turned out to be just the right amount of push needed in that little kerfuffle.” Her guests chuckled at the anecdote, obviously having no qualms with her subtle yet cutthroat ways.

“Anywho, that’s how I managed to make nice with that little bout of competition, though from what I’ve heard Marty is still making decent profits and still sending his regards,” Morganna shrugged, “Oh but enough about me, we should really on this delec-tishious meal!”

“You always did have good tastes, Morganna,” one of her oldest (and brown-nosiest) business partners spoke up.

She gave a good natured chuckle at that. “Well, I can’t take ALL the credit,” Morganna lightly countered, “Though I may have pushed a few of them in the right direction. After all, you can’t go wrong with dishes like watercress salad, beef wellington-” she spotted the incoming waiters, “and especially not Devils on Horseback.”

Though, as her personal server came in close, Gus suddenly lifted his head up from his resting spot under his mistress’ chair. Whining, he stumbled out from under the table and began barking at the waiter - though if it weren’t for Morganna grabbing his collar, he probably would’ve just knocked the plate out of his hands instead.

“Gus! What are you-” Morganna whispered to her pup, gritting her teeth as she tried to keep a tight hold on him, “Gus, no! Sit! Shh, I said-! Gus!” A quick wave, and one of her top bellhops was at her side in an instant, a leash in his white-gloved hand. “Ugh, please take Gussy-Wussy for a walk. Poor thing must have a bit of the evening jitters. Tell the chefs to make him a sirloin as well, that should calm him down for a while.” 

“Yes, ma’am,” the long-nosed bellhop nodded. Gus continued to whine as he was pulled away, but was mostly ignored as the waiters continued to do their job. Sighing slightly, Morganna picked up her fork and took a careful bite. Being sure not to smudge her lipstick. She hummed as the flavors waltzed over her tongue - the savoriness and saltiness of the bacon, the rich and sweet texture of the prunes, the- ...slight sourness? No, not sour… Fruity? Well of course, it was a dish made with fruit. Yet it still seemed out of place…

Still, it tasted well enough that Morganna didn’t feel the need to make a big fuss. She just continued to eat the dish, occasionally speaking up and assuring she stayed in the conversation loop. 

...That is, until her neck started to become itchy.

It started out as just a light scratching. Then a bit more scratching, and a bit or burning. Keeping herself calm, she nonchalantly used the reflection in her spoon to examine her neck, and her eyes widened at what she saw. She wasn’t blistering yet, but that was definitely an allergic rash. 

“Do pardon me, everyone. Be back in a two ticks of a jiffy,” Morganna said suddenly, standing up from her seat, though she didn’t dare let herself panic. With two claps of her hands, her personal bellhops appeared, one of them holding a familiar concealed kit. She snatched the kit before walking towards the hall, the two bellhops following her every sharp step. 

By this point, Morganna was just barely containing her scowl as the whispers from the paparazzi section of the party reached her ears. Unbelievable… It was supposed to be made clear to every kitchen they had hired for the party that they were absolutely forbidden to use citrus of any kind! “Do make a note to never hire the kitchen that made those Devils on Horseback again, okay dearie-doodle?” she said, her sweet tone hiding the acid that she couldn’t afford to spit in front of certain eyes.

Her bellhop with rather long bangs nodded. “Of course, ma’am. Anything else we can do for ya?”

“Just make sure I can have some privacy. Surely that shouldn’t be too hard.”

“Absolutely ma’am.” As they walked, none of them noticed the lobby security cameras following their trip up the stairs. Just a floor up from the public lobby restrooms had been a more private and luxurious restroom, placed just a bit away from that floor’s spa services. Honestly, it was more like an old fashioned lounge than a restroom, complete with a couple sitting couches near the sinks and stalls. Still, in a situation like this, Morganna appreciated privacy and personal space more than anything else.

So, as her bellhops stood guarding the door, Morganna walked inside and nearly yanked her necklace off, not caring if it got scuffed or scratched so long as it _got off of her!_ Placing it near the sink, she spent a good several seconds scratching at her growing rash before finally gaining enough willpower to leave it be for now. Once she had her kit open, she popped two allergy pills before getting out her special lotion. A hiss escaped passed her lips as she rubbed it on, the typical burning that came with its application still ever-present.

In terms of allergies, she could have had it much worse, though that didn’t mean her’s was any less annoying to deal with - especially once the hot flashes started. “Ugh…” Opening up the center mirror, she took out the emergency bottle of wine she’d always made sure was stashed away in there before heading over to the window. Just two more things that made this restroom more appealing to her than the public one. 

...Of course, that was what Repo had been counting on - and once the hotel heiress was leaning out the window, completely focused on her drink and her rash, Kendra initiated the next phase of the plan.

“Okay…” Pressing a couple keys, Kendra watched as the point-of-view from her personal camera pushed through the restroom vent and crawled down the periwinkle-colored tiled wall. She normally worked with big, bombastic, impressive machines, from drones that were powerful enough to knock down part of a wall to mini robots that could absolutely demolish any opponent in a competition. But hey, she could do subtle too, if she had the motivation to do so.

Her purple Chinese dragon-themed robot continued to crawl, so light and small with super-strength sticky pads on its feet instead of claws, assuring that it barely made any noise at all. Once it reached its target, Kendra was suddenly reminded of the years where she and Jeremy would try and cheat the claw machines at their local movie theatre’s arcade while they made Jace keep watch. She couldn’t wait to brag to them about her latest prize.

“Come on,” she mumbled from a motel room a block away, moving from her keyboard to her wireless joystick as her pet robotic-dragon tried to grab the necklace. She had to try and get as much of it in its mouth at once, or risk it not only falling out, but also jingling just enough for Mama to notice.

‘She may end up noticing anyway,’ Kendra told herself. Morganna wouldn’t need more than a few minutes at the most, and every second counted. Still, she was never one to bend under pressure - not when there were plenty of other things that motivated her and her skills.

With that in mind, she pushed her dragon’s head forward one last time. Most of the ruby, along with a good portion of the chain, and Kendra decided that was as good as she was going to get. The sink pipe was too small and there was no way and hell they were dragging something this valuable through the toilet, so back up the wall she went.

“Steady,” she quietly told herself, glaring at her screen as if it were her willpower alone that was keeping her dragon moving. Out of view, she heard Morganna give a relaxed sigh, and she tapped her keys a bit more rapidly. Once she reached the vent, she nearly broke her wrist trying to tilt her joystick at the most optimal angle. It still took a bit of squeezing, but the view on her Dragon Eye moved from bright to mostly dark, assuring her that her pet was safely in the vent once again.

Kendra grinned wickedly. With one last key input, the wheels on her dragon’s metal stomach popped out of their slots, allowing it to zip down the air vent like a race car - and not a moment too soon either.

Morganna gingerly touched her neck. The lotion had soaked in completely by now, and while there was still a slight pinkness on her neck, and the itching and burning had finally subsided. That would have to do for now. Popping the cork back into the wine, she turned around- and blinked. She blinked again, and again, as if trying to wake herself up from a dream. Placing the wine on the floor she walked over to the sink, first looking on the floor near it before looking into the sink itself, not seeing even a hint of a sparkle in the pipe.

“...Son of a bitch,” she said finally.

With one good push from her, the restroom door practically flew open, causing her bellhops to almost stumble over. “M-Miss Arachna-?”

“Did you let anyone in here?” Morganna asked them, eyes sharp as she searched for any sort of tell, “Did anyone even _pass by_ this door?”

“N-No, ma’am! We didn’t see anyone go in or out!” “We followed your orders to the letter, never left this door once!”

“...” It was an unlikely answer, she was smart enough to know that. But she was also smart enough to double check. Once she was sure of their loyalty, Big Mama directed her ire down the hall, back down the stairs. “Well then, it would seem there are only two options: either a ghost has taken to haunting my hotel… or a skanktonious thief or two invited themselves to our little get-together.”

It was then the duo finally noticed their boss’ bare neck, causing their eyes to go wide. The bellhop with bangs got on his radio to alert the rest of the staff while the one with the long nose rushed inside the restroom, hopeful that he could perhaps find a clue. As for Mama, she was simply focusing on figuring out what she would do with the crafty crook once she got her hands on them...

As her dragon continued moving towards its next position, Kendra’s thumb was typing away. **_“You’d better be ready, Sando”_ ** was all she said. They may have had the necklace now, but she still was on a time limit for how long she could keep control of the cameras. Once they moved from searching guests to going over footage, she would have to sign off completely or risk being traced by a security guard who actually knew what they were doing when it came to virtual footprints and encryption.

Thankfully, Ben was as ready as could be. _“Let it drop when you’re ready, K”_ he typed back, adding a winky face for good measure.

Kendra didn’t bother replying back. Instead, she made sure her dragon reached the right spot, moving from one metal box-like tunnel to another, larger and more vertical one. Another tap on her keyboard, and her dragon suddenly dropped the necklace down into the long shaft - and right into Ben’s awaiting hands, saving it from a possible chipping or even breaking.

“Yes!” he grinned, taking a moment to examine the exquisit accessory. “Man, this thing is WAY more sparkly in person. No wonder it’s worth so much!” As far as he was concerned, they were practically at their victory. But actually getting the necklace was one thing, now they just had to get it out.

So, with an audience-worthy smile, he held onto the necklace with one hand as he climbed down the long metal rope with the other, his ankles making sure the lower part of his body still had a tight grip during his descent even if his upper half was a bit more loose. Once he was close enough, he hopped down onto the elevator with a small “Hup!” and crawled back through its snug, open ceiling door.

“Oh yeah,” Ben smiled to himself as he pushed the start button, re-activating the elevator so it could take him to his next position, “Step two complete!”

\------------------------------------------------------

“Excuse me, everyone. May I have your attention?” All eyes turned to the center of the ballroom where Morganna stood, looking as collected as ever despite the angry looks on her ‘companions’ faces. “I do hate to throw a wet blanket over our spectaculous anniversary, but I’m afraid there’s been… a bit of a situation. Bruno here will explain.”

“Right then,” her largest bellhop said, nodding his huge head, “Alright, everyone please stand up and make your way to the lobby, we just need to do a quick search for a… certain missing item. No one is allowed to leave the hotel completely, though there will be drinks provided as you wait to get back to your meals.”

Her guests were a bit shocked, some of them even looking annoyed, given that they were halfway through the middle course. As for the bellhops, they didn’t even bother answering the people’s questions as they escorted them out of their seats.

“You all need to leave as well,” another bellhop said, pointing at the confused group of waiters and servers that had been hired and brought in specifically for the event through the various caterers, “Go on then, downstairs all of you!”

“Unbelievable,” one waitress mumbled, “What, do they think we’d swipe the silverware or something?”

“I mean, they are nice silverware,” Carl shrugged, making the woman chuckle slightly, “And hey, at least we’ll get a bit of a break.”

“Yeah, too bad it’ll also be an interrogation…” “Come on, keep moving please! Everyone must go downstairs for the time being!” With no other choice, Carl followed the crowd, hands in his pockets. ...Maybe not the best position for his hands but hey, Repo had told him to “look natural”, and this was natural for him. 

“Once everyone is out, we’ll begin our full search,” Morganna quietly told one of her security officers. Being part of the upper class really was troublesome sometimes, always having to worry about saving face and all that jazz. Really, if it were up to her, she’d be dragging people through metal detectors and going through pockets herself. Unfortunately, more drastic measures would have to wait until they had exhausted their search.

“Hey, you! We said you would have to wait down in the-!” “Miss Arachna! Miss Arachna!”

Turning towards the shouting, Morganna saw Warren Stone rushing towards her, his cameraperson struggling to keep up. “Ma’am, I can imagine this whole ordeal must be very stressful for you, but I just have to ask,” he told her, putting a hand over his chest, “How does it feel to have something of yours stolen at your hotel’s very own anniversary party?” As he said this, the anchorman gave her a look of sympathy that exposed just enough pity from him to make her already growing anger rise even higher.

Clearing her throat, Big Mama stepped forward with a strong look in her eyes and a calm smile on her lips. “Mr. Stone, I thank you for your concern, but I can assure you that I have been through much worse,” she told him, “And a true woman does not cow so easily to any sort of antagonist, whether that be a nasty recession, a hopeful competitor or even a daringly-cocky thief.”

“So then you’re sure you’ll catch them? The thief I mean?” Warren asked.

“Of course. My little hotel may have many extrava-lific rooms and frantaprolous features that can keep a whole city’s worth of guests entertained, but that doesn’t mean they can hide forever.” Mama narrowed her eyes ever so slightly, smiling enough to show her teeth, and Warren felt a shiver go down his spine. “And I’ll make sure personally that they don’t escape without returning what is _mine._ ”

“Y-Yes, well, could you tell me more about the item in question, or perhaps if you have any suspicions on what could have happened-?”

Big Mama gestured subtly with her hand at her side, and before Warren could finish his question, another security guard was beside him. “I’m sorry, Mr. Stone, but I’m afraid you’ll have to join the others in the lobby for now, though I do hope we’ll get to talk again once this annoying little missy-mess is over.”

“But Miss Arachna, I just have a few more!” Mama gave him a look just as the guard put his hand on Warren’s arm, squeezing it just a bit more than necessary. Warren willed himself not to gulp. “Always a pleasure speaking to you, ma’am. Good luck on your search!” he told her as he was escorted away.

Frankly, she didn’t need luck. No one stole from Big Mama and got away with it. “Right, now, make sure to empty out the kitchen too-” Her gut was telling her one of the chefs had _something_ to do with all this, and it wasn’t just because of the allergy pills dissolving in her stomach- “Once we clear this floor, we’ll go up each level until we find them.” She didn’t care if it took all night, she had all the time in the world and enough security outside to cover all exits and observe all windows. They hadn’t allowed any guests to reserve a room that night either, not wanting to risk having any uninvited party crashers, so absolutely no room was off limits. They would find their sneaky swindler soon enough.

A final thought crossed her mind as she prepared to leave her staff to their search. “Oh, and do make sure Gus is brought in as well,” she said with a sweet smirk, “You know how much he loves to play fetch with his Mummy.”

“Of course, ma’am,” said another bellhop, getting out his radio to relay the command. “The Miss says to keep the hound downstairs as well, and be on the lookout for any tells or sniffs.”

“Copy that,” his co-worker answered, already near the lobby as he made sure the crowd kept moving, assuring anyone who tried to stop and ask questions that the party would continue soon enough.

In his group of servers, Carl managed to slip behind, noticing that his shoe just so happened to suddenly be untied. So, he stepped to the side of the hall, out of the way and momentarily hidden amongst his human camouflage as he crouched down right in front of a men’s restroom door. While tying his shoe, he knocked on the door with his elbow - first once, then twice, then once again. The door opened just a crack, and once Carl was standing upright, still making sure to partially hide both his left hand and the door to anyone passing by, the brothers did their part. 

Like catching each other on a trapeze, he and Ben made the pass-off quickly and flawlessly, and Ben was back on his way, the Ruby Spider now safely in his pocket. Ben waited exactly two minutes before leaving the restroom himself, his new red suit jacket and pants allowing him to blend right into the crowd. 

\-------------------------------------------------------

As expected, the chefs were just as - if not more adamant about leaving, given that some of them were halfway through the cooking process. “We can’t just stop a porkchop halfway through and start it up again half an hour later, that’s not how cooking works!” “The timing on our pies is going to be all off if we stop now! Can’t we just empty our pockets and keep going?”

“I understand the frustration, but you all really must leave,” the head guard said, his other security officers already working on leading the others out, “Miss Arachna’s orders. Our guests have already been made aware of the situation, and you will all be paid for your extra hours of work. Now, if you would all just cooperate, we can have you all back to cooking in no time!”

“But what about us?” Chef Annie asked, “We already served our course and we’ve just about finished packing up, so-”

“I’m sorry, Chef, but no one is allowed to leave the building, and you and your crew will have to wait downstairs with everyone else,” the officer told her, “Please forgive us for the inconvenience.”

“Hmph. Well, at least you’re acknowledging how much of a hassle this all is,” Rupert sneered as he walked by them, arms crossed. His head chef gave him a glare that was promptly ignored, which in turn guaranteed him a scolding when this whole ordeal was over.

“Our apologies again,” the officer replied, even if his expression didn’t have any remorse whatsoever. Rupert just huffed, making sure his surliness was up to its usual standards. By the time the kitchen staff had reached the lobby, it was nearly ready to burst - and even with drinks to bide their time with, a good chunk of the guests there weren’t shy about voicing their complaints.

“Hmm, must be a pretty big deal if she is making this much of a big deal over it,” Rupert heard one celebrity - a wrestler who was a favorite in the New York league, who was even wearing his orange mask to match his orange suit.

His assumed date gave him a small smack on the arm. “Of course it’s a big deal! Didn’t you notice that she wasn’t wearing her necklace when she made that announcement? That has to be it!”

“How does someone lose something that’s literally attached to their neck without noticing who’s taking it?” another guest who had overheard them asked, “And, more importantly, why do _we_ have to be punished for it when she’s the one who lost it?”

Rupert shook his head, leaning a bit against the lobby stairs’ railing. “I’ve lived through a couple PR fires in my day, but THIS is definitely a PR disaster.”

“I’ll say,” a familiar voice agreed, “Though, I suppose if anyone can recover from it, it’s Morganna Arachna.”

“True, true,” Rupert casually replied, sparing the ‘stranger’ a glance.

“And besides, the evening may have had a bit of a snag, but it seems to be going well otherwise,” Ron continued, “The first few courses of our meal have just been wonderful! Truly magical!”

Rupert grinned. Just because he knew the compliment was fake didn’t mean he still couldn’t enjoy the opportunity. “Well of course. I can’t speak for me fellow chefs, but I for one always make sure to make every bite of MY food is a flavorful experience that can save even the worst evenings, and I’ve got the talent to pull it off too!” He gave a slight chuckle. “But I’m sure you already knew that.”

It was almost painful for Ron, having to hold himself back from rolling his eyes. “Mm, yes, well, I suppose my husband and I’ll have to eat at your restaurant sometime then, if it truly is that good.”

“Oh it is,” the chef said firmly, “and in that case, I hope to see you two sometime soon.”

“Well, thank you!” The two shook hands, completing the next hand-off, before Ron stuck his own hand in his pocket. Even with the drink in his hand, knowing what would happen next still made his nerves rise a bit. But hey, he loved animals! He even worked with a baby hippo once at the zoo with no trouble at all, and they were still more dangerous than most would think, even if they were also absolutely adorable. So Ron was sure that this would turn out alright too! ...Mostly. 

Despite the slight chaos that had intruded her celebration, Morganna walked down the lobby stairs with all the grace and poise of a queen, fists clenched tightly at her sides. A couple more reporters tried to speak to her, but she politely waved them off, her eyes locked on the revolving hotel doors as her sweet, precious pupper was brought in. Smiling, she strolled across the lobby towards Gus, giving him a quick kiss on his silly little head. 

“There you are, Gussy-Wussy,” she told him, her words making his tail wag happily, “I’m so sorry for not listening earlier…” Gus whined, nuzzling her hands as she scratched behind the ears. “But now that I AM listening to you, can you and that smarty-pants nose of yours help find Mummy’s necklace?” 

Morganna gestured to her neck, which Gus sniffed for a couple seconds before sniffing the air. She allowed Gus to take a couple steps forward, and ‘accidentally’ loosened her grip on his leash just before Gus let out an excited bark, followed by a growl. 

The crowd turned their heads towards the dog, a few of them yelping in surprise. This wasn’t going to earn her any favors with her guests, but if it put the Ruby Spider back on her neck, she frankly didn’t give a damn.

Without warning, Gus suddenly took off like a shot, ducking under and between guests as he ran towards his target, barking all the while. “Oh my!” Morganna said, feigning shock as she ‘tried’ to catch her pet, “Gus, where are you going?”

Gus ignored both her and the other people that were shouting at him, his wet nose sniffing and snorting like a wild bull’s as the scent got stronger and stronger. Then, after nearly pushing down some old sci-fi movie star, he found it! Giving an excited howl, Gus rushed forward and tackled the tan, round-ish man, using his strong paws to keep the poor man on the ground as he tried to dig through his coat pocket.

“H-Hey! What on Earth-?!” Ron sputtered out, shoving the hound away from him, only to have Gus push him right back down. He thanked his lucky stars that Repo’s friend had been right in his claim that Gus was a barker and not a biter, even if he was certain his suit jacket was now completely ruined thanks to the drool. Bellhops and security officers were running towards him, though none of them made a move to try and get Gus off of him until Morganna had arrived as well. ‘Should’ve expected that,’ Ron thought, though still a bit miffed.

“I just don’t know what got into him!” Morganna said apologetically in an attempt to alleviate some of the disapproving and shocked looks her pup was getting. Grabbing Gus’ leash, she then added, “Though, I have to wonder what was in those pockets of yours to make him so excited!” She gave her staff a look, and an officer nodded back at her, getting ready to grab the suspect’s arm.

Except Ron didn’t need to be forced to answer the question, or even persuaded - though he was a bit sheepish as he reached inside his coat.

“Well, I know you all said we would get back to eating soon, but… well-” He held out a handful of Devils on Horseback, still warm with the bacon slightly staining the napkin it had been wrapped in. “I was still feeling a bit peckish. Sorry!”

Gus barked and panted as he hopped towards the treat, completely oblivious to his mistress’ shock. Maybe she hadn’t suspected this man outright, but a bloodhound’s nose was perfect! She thought for sure-!

 _“Miss Arachna! Miss Arachna!”_ One of her shorter bellhops, one with strawberry blond hair and a high pitched voice that matched his baby face, suddenly appeared at the top of the lobby staircase. “We found it, ma’am! We found it!” He held up the Ruby Spider in all its glory and the crowd gasped. A few clapped or cheered while others just sighed in relief, ready to get back on schedule.

The only one who wasn’t relieved was Morganna, the confusion evident on her face. However, she forced it away as she clasped her hands together, smiling brightly. “Oh- _Wonderful!_ Simply wonderful! Alright then, everyone back upstairs - seems we’ll have one more thing to celebrate now!” Gus gave another happy bark while the guests cheered even more at that. 

As for her staff, they all went back to their assigned duties - leaving Ron to pick himself up off the floor. “Blech,” he grumbled, trying to wipe the drool and dirt off him. However, when he felt a gentle hand on his back, his frustration faded a bit.

“You alright?” Warren asked.

“Right as rain,” Ron smiled, “Or at least, I am now. In the moment, not so much but, eh, what can you do? Dogs like that are like a freight train when they smell a treat.”

“Ugh, I still can’t believe we let Repo talk us into making you do that,” Warren frowned. Ron cupped his face, giving him a quick kiss on his husband’s jaw-line as he took his hand. Warren gave him a smile in return, sighing a bit. This ordeal was almost over, and hopefully it would all be worth the extra effort - not to mention the extra work Warren would have to do back at Channel 6 to properly cover all the breaking news before those Channel 8 jerks could scoop them. 

In the meantime, the pair headed back upstairs with the others, their hands still intertwined as they silently promised each other a dance before the night was through.

The guests returned to their seats, the servers who were still on the clock went back to work, the band that had been hired began playing early to try and bring back the mood some, and the chefs and staff from Rurbell’s made their leave.

Once again following the crowd, Carl blended in between the black vests and white chefs coats, only making his leave once they were outside. With Grand Nexus security no longer focused on every little suspicious thing, he felt safe to go from a quick walk to a full run as he made his way down the street. Repo had been just about to light up when Carl arrived at his truck, a huge grin on his face.

“So, I’m guessin’ it went well?” Repo asked, already smiling.

“See for yourself!” Carl pulled the necklace out, practically shoving it in Repo’s face. Not that Repo minded, his own grin widening at the sight of the precious jewelry piece. 

“I knew you six wouldn’t let me down,” he said simply. Taking it, he stuck it in his own suit jacket for safekeeping before taking out his phone. Kendra and Rupert had already sent him a text, but rather than reply to them both he just sent one mass-text out to everyone (with the exception of Ben, obviously) that the heist was officially a success.

“Sooo, what now? Celebration party back at your place?”

“I don’t do parties,” Repo answered gruffly. Hoping up into his truck, he rolled down the window and told Carl, “Tell the others to come to my place at noon tomorrow and I’ll have the cash ready. Oh, and keep an eye out for any cops circling, just in case.” With nothing left to add, he drove off, a tired yet satisfied smile on his face. When he hit a red light, he took a couple deep swigs of his pop. He also patted down his jacket pocket, just to double AND triple check that he wasn't forgetting anything.

The heist might have been complete, but Repo’s night wasn’t over yet…

\---------------------------------------------------------- 

It was nearly midnight by the time the party started wrapping up, after cake, dancing and no less than a dozen speeches that were focused on singing the praises of the Grand Nexus.

Big Mama sighed as she stepped into her bedroom, kicking off her heels. Gus trotted in behind her, going straight to his doggy bed. Her three personal bellhops stood at attention in the doorway, waiting for their dismissal after a long night.

“Well, I’d say we recovered from our little interuptious hullaboo well enough,” she said, touching her necklace, “Didn’t take more than letting them all eat and drink away their critiques and kick up their holly-doos to get everyone back in good spirits, yes?”

“Naturally,” her biggest bellhop said, “Everyone enjoys your parties, ma’am.”

Big Mama hummed, her eyes still locked on her necklace. “Yes, well, parties can be a bit of a hissy-hassle at times, as well… Still, I know of someone - or perhaps a whole troop of someones - who certainly had a good time.”

The uniformed trio looked at her, a bit concerned now. “Ma’am?”

“You said that Jefferson found my necklace tucked under the couch in the women’s lounge just above the grand ballroom?” she asked suddenly, “The restroom I used earlier in the evening?”

“Er, y-yes ma’am,” the long-nosed bellhop answered this time, wincing a bit, “Apologies for not finding it earlier-”

“Oh please,” she waved him off, “It’s hardly your fault. Though, it is just a bit amusing isn’t it?” Mama reached behind her neck, unhooking the necklaces chain without any trouble at all. “See, I could have _sworn_ I placed my lovely little necklace on the sink when I first took it off.”

Even without her shoes, each step seemed to make a sharp impact as she strolled over to her wardrobe, the ruby clasped tightly in her grip. “Isn’t it just so amusing that my necklace could just slip off the edge of the sink, and then slip right under the couch! That must’ve been quite fun for it, like being on a waterslide!” she giggled slightly, “I know our janitorial staff prides itself on extremely clean and shiny floors, but perhaps it was just TOO clean. Or-”

Mama slammed the ruby against the edge of the wardrobe, not even flinching as it shattered like glass. “Perhaps it wasn’t their fault at all.” She glanced over at her bellhops, who had gone completely pale. She just smiled. “Please all of you, be a dear and get the NYPD on the phone, will you?”

\--------------------------------------------------------------

There was a certain calm before the storm that, after enough sudden disasters and breaking news, Warren had gotten a sort of ‘sixth sense’ for after working in journalism for so long. And that morning, he felt practically smothered and completely overstimulated by it.

At first, he thought it was just worry. The fear that they hadn’t actually gotten away with it, and that any second now their Saturday morning routine of cinnamon french toast and fruit kabobs would be interrupted by police kicking down their apartment door and dragging them both into a squad car. He noted that even Ron seemed slightly on edge, assuring him that he wasn’t alone in his anxiety. However, when they managed to make it through breakfast without any interruption, Warren simply chalked it up to nerves. Still having a few hours until they were supposed to head over to Repo’s, he continued onto the next part of his morning routine. Even when he had a day off from reporting, he still refused to fall behind and lose track of current local news. So, he turned on the tv-

And that was when the other shoe dropped.

 _“-Yes, it would seem the twists and turns for our top story just keep coming, though thankfully it still has a happy ending,”_ Carly reported with a smile, completely unaware that her co-anchor had anything to do with their breaking news that morning, _“Late last night we reported that the birthday party of the year, the Grand Nexus Hotel’s anniversary celebration, had been interrupted when it was thought that someone there had stolen Nexus Owner Morganna Arachna’s family heirloom, the Ruby Spider necklace._

_“While hotel staff recovered the necklace about twenty minutes after it was first reported missing, it was reported by Arachna later on in the evening that what they had recovered had been a fake.”_

Warren’s knuckles were nearly white due to how tightly he was gripping the remote. Ron was standing behind him, completely silent while his mind raced. He didn’t care much for cursing, but in that moment, they were the only words that he was able to think of. Well, them and the fastest ways to get to the airport in case they needed to hide out in New Zealand for a while.

 _“However, as hotel employees were returning to work this morning and NYPD officers were preparing to expand their search, the Ruby Spider was turned in by Stanley Bouchard, a bellhop who had worked at the Grand Nexus for five years, claiming he had found the necklace abandoned on the street on his way to work,”_ Carly continued, _“Both Arachna and Police Chief Nieli confirmed that this was the real Ruby Spider, and Bouchard was rewarded for his honesty, assuring that this gem of an employee got just what he deserved for making sure a well-loved treasure was returned to its rightful owner! In other news-”_

“Did she say that?” Ron asked, “Did she REALLY just say all of that or am I just having a stroke?!”

Warren didn’t answer, too furious to form proper sentences. Instead he ran into their bedroom and grabbed his phone. Kendra seemed to be the only other person in the group who had heard what had happened, given the blocks of text she had sent him while his and his husband’s phones were on silent. However, given how he usually made a living, Warren was more than happy to spread the news.

It only took an hour for the six of them to make it to the junkyard that they had called their homebase for the past week. Warren had been hoping to make himself the new semi-leader of their crew, given that their previous ringleader was apparently completely INSANE, but Rupert shoved himself to the front before he got the chance. Stepping up to the front door, the fuming chef pounded it like a pork chop. Frankly, it was miracle he didn’t end up putting his fist through the cheap wood.

Lucky for Repo, it only took him a few seconds to answer the door, even taking off the chain before doing so. “...Yous guys do know that it’s not noon yet, right?” he asked.

Rupert gritted his teeth. It took some internal persuading, but he managed not to punch the lankier man’s teeth out, and instead asked him, “What… the FUCK did you do?”

“Yer gonna have to be more specific,” Repo replied, lazily rubbing his eye.

“Is this all a big joke to you?!” Kendra snapped.

“We’ve seen the news, Repo! Don’t try and weasel out of it!” Warren added, pushing past Rupert and jabbing a finger towards Repo’s face.

“I just don’t understand how - after ALL THAT - you managed to lose the one thing that we did all this work for?!” Ron shouted, “It’s maddening, that’s what it is! It’s-!”

“Whoa whoa,” Repo interrupted, a bit offended at that, “I didn’t lose nothin’. That would imply I did a sloppy job, that I was careless. I **planted** the necklace, I didn’t lose it. There’s a big difference, trust me.”

“...Sooo, you just returned the thing we stole, right after we stole it, on purpose?” Carl asked, his brother looking just as confused.

“Yep. See, he gets it!” Repo said, still calm as ever.

“...I’m gonna kill him,” Rupert stated, “I’m literally going to kill-!”

Repo reached into his pants pocket, and pulled out six envelopes, each with the name of a member of his crew written on it. “Ya sure about that, Swaggart?” All of their jaws dropped, their eyes going from the envelopes to Repo and back again.

“...If this is another trick, Manti,” Warren began, still scowling at the smug scrapper, “I swear on my press badge I’ll drag your name through the deepest mud I can find and-!”

“Yous guys are missin’ the big picture!” Repo said suddenly, rolling his eyes. He knew they’d be pissed, but he had figured once he flashed their shares of the cash at them, they’d be smart enough to figure it out themselves. Apparently not. “THINK! Mama’s necklace was worth a boatload, but that don’t matter if no one’s willing to actually buy the damn thing!”

“So you’re saying… Wait, what exactly are you saying?” Ben asked.

 _“I’m sayin’_ that her necklace would’a taken AGES to cool down. We wouldn’t be able to sell it for at least twenty years, if we were lucky - and that’s if we weren’t caught first, which would’a been pretty likely. Breakin’ it down and sellin’ each gem separately wouldn’t work either. Sure, diamonds are worth more than car parts, but they’d still only fence a fraction of what I promised each of ya, given that the real worth of the thing comes from its name and history. So, there was only one solution…”

_It took him walking up and down the block at least six times before he finally ran into the person he had been looking for. “Hey,” he said, waving him over._

_The guy looked up, surprised. “Who, me?”_

_“Yeah. Stanley, right?” Repo asked, walking over towards him._

_“Y-Yeah, who? Oh, wait- I know you!” Stanley said, recognizing the ‘delivery man’ and smiling, “How are you?”_

_“Eh, can’t complain. Say, you work for that Maria lady, right?”_

_“Er, her name is Morganna but, if you mean the owner of the Grand Nexus then yeah, I work for her.”_

_“Good, good, Cause uh, I was finishin’ up my rounds late last night and uh, I found this along the way-” Repo reached into his coat pocket - and Stanley gasped. Even with it covered in dirt and mud, he could recognize it easily as the Ruby Spider. He had remembered seeing a couple people talking about it when he checked his Twitter feed that morning, but-_

_“I thought they already found it though?” Stanley said, taking the necklace._

_“That’s what I heard too, but I mean… I guess this one could be a fancy fake, but it looks pretty real to me.”_

_“Yeah, no kidding…” He brushed away some of the mud as carefully as he could. Even while dirtied, the grand ruby still shone like the sun. “Well, if this IS the real deal, you should turn it in. I bet she’ll be really happy that you did - trust me, getting it back would really mean a lot to her!” And if it was fake, Stanley was sure his fairly kind and fair boss would still give him a small reward._

_But as he handed the necklace back, Repo gently pushed it back into Stanley’s hands. “Yeahhhh see, that’s what I was tryin’ to do when I was lookin’ for someone like you, someone who already works for her.” A bit embarrassed, he rubbed the back of his neck. “I uh… don’t exactly have the cleanest history. Just a few misdemeanors, nothin’ too big, but still. If a schlub like me comes walkin’ in off the street carryin’ a piece like this, I doubt they’ll give me a chance to tell my side of the story.”_

_Stanley frowned at that. “Well gosh, that’s not fair. And I mean, why would you steal it and then return it? That doesn’t make any sense, you’re just trying to do the right thing!”_

_Repo shrugged. “Yeah, but hey, just try tellin’ the cops that. Look, even if it is fake, just make sure it finds a good home, alright pal?”_

_“Okay…” Repo turned away from the humble bellhop, deliberately taking slow steps and stopping immediately when Stanley called him back. “This is going to sound sort of weird but, could I have your phone number?” Repo, while acting a bit cautious on the surface, gave it to him without a fight. And, after what both of them had expected to happen happened, Stanley called him up and gave him his share of the $50,000 reward for returning the necklace._

_“Gee, thanks kid,” Repo told him with a genuine smile, “This’ll really help me out. And uh, I hope your share helps you out too.”_

_Stanley grinned at him, practically giddy. “Oh, trust me sir, it definitely will!” With that, the two parted ways, with Stanley practically dancing down the street on his way back to the hotel. ‘No surprise there’, Repo thought to himself. 25 grand was a pretty little down payment on a fancy dance school tuition, after all._

“...Okayyyy well, while that’s all cute and sweet and all that you were able to help out some bellhop, we weren’t promised a seventh of $25,000,” Kendra reminded him.

“I know,” Repo told her, “I just thought it’d be a nice top-off. Give us all a little extra, you know.”

Ron hummed, still a bit annoyed at all this suspense. “And what about the rest of the money we were promised, hm?”

“Taken care of,” Repo answered, “What did yous guys think I was doin’ while you were all liftin’ the necklace?”

As realization struck the crew, all of them - even the Sandos - just gaped at Repo in disbelief. But the repo man just continued to smile, figuring he had a right to be a bit proud…

_“Psst! Pssssst!”_

_“I’m here, stop ‘psst’ing!” Repo hissed, coming inside. Maybe it would have made more sense to come inside with the Sandos, but hey, the Grand Nexus had more than one back door, and Repo believed in spreading people out. It covered more ground, and it stopped people from making connections._

_“Oh, cool,” Ben nodded. “Carl’s already heading to the party. Do you have the fake?”_

_“‘Course I do, who do you take me for?” Repo told him, patting his suit pocket._

_“Great!” Ben grinned, handing over the key card he had just used, only slightly feeling sorry for whoever owned it. He had worked a couple security jobs in the past, and it was never fun to be the one who accidentally misplaced or forgot their keys. “...You sure you’re not going to need back-up with planting this stuff?”_

_“Trust me, I’ve got this,” Repo insisted, “Now you go get into your position before dinner’s served.” Ben did as he was told, heading to the elevator. As for Repo, he took the more subtle and not-as-often-used stairs, moving as fast as his feet could carry him and muffling his coughs whenever he needed to._

_“Ugh, how many damn floors does a hotel need?” he huffed when he finally reached the floor he was looking for. As expected with all the attention and current risks being on the lower levels, there was no one in sight to stop him from using the key card and stepping into Big Mama’s bedroom. By this point he had slipped on gloves, and once he was inside, he tiptoed over to one of her many closets, his eyes nearly sparkling at its contents._

_“Of course a lady like her would use a shoe closet just to hold all her jewelry,” Repo commented, though he certainly wasn’t complaining - going through shelves and hooks was better than digging through a teeny jewelry box._

_This next part, as he has assumed, took some time. He had to look through each piece and try to find a fake (courtesy of a buddy of his that worked with cubic zirconia and other cheap gems, and even took commissions for the right price) that would be a close enough match for it. Thankfully, the Ruby Spider wasn’t the only piece that Big Mama was willing to show off in public, so he’d already had a good idea of what he would be able to grab._

_By the time he had swapped out everything he was able to, the real Ruby Spider was already missing according to his clock and the schedule they had planned out. It would still be a while before her security took their search upstairs, but Repo didn’t want to push his luck - especially when he still had a job to do. So, with his pockets filled with gems and chains, he headed back to the stairs._

_The further down he went, the more voices and footsteps he heard. A couple times, he would have been nearly caught, had it not been for ducking down or stepping out onto another floor just in time. Thankfully, timing and luck was on his side enough for him to make it to the third floor laundry chute._

_Kendra’s dragon was already waiting for him, gripping onto the door with its sticky pads. Giving its camera eyes a small smirk, Repo placed the necklace in its mouth before shutting the door again. At the time, Kendra had been somewhat wondering in the back of her mind what Repo had been doing before his cue, or why he hadn't figured out a way for someone else to do the final hand-off, but she hadn't cared enough to ask. She just drove her dragon back down a level, sneaking it back into the restroom for it to deposit the fake under the couch._

_As for Repo, he waited as long as he could before going down the chute himself. It was one of the few times he had been thankful for being so lanky, only bumping his head or elbow a couple of times on the way down. Underneath him had been a soft landing of clean bedsheets and towels, which he relaxed in for a moment or two as he waited for Kendra’s dragon to drop down as well._

_Once it did, everything else was just according to plan: He waited until he heard people start heading back towards the party, the high-alert now nothing more than a false alarm and everyone’s (including Mama’s guards) minds at ease, and snuck out through one last back entrance, discarding the key card on his way out, just a few minutes ahead of Carl._

“...So everything we did... was just a distraction for you to steal the rest of her jewelry?” Warren asked slowly.

Repo just shrugged. “Hey, scrappin’ is a tricky business. Though, I obviously couldn’t get all of it. Just the pieces that were worth somethin’ but could still be sold under the table without too much trouble,” he corrected him, “I have a few buddies who were more into sellin’ silver and gold than metal and scrap. They work fast, and when I told them what I was gettin’ them, they were able to cut me a good deal right away, which-” 

He flashed their envelopes at them again, “-led to a fast turnaround. Soooo-” Tucking the envelopes under one of his arms, he reached back into his home with his other arm and pulled out his clipboard seemingly from out of nowhere. “-the profit from that, plus the 25 G’s, gives us a grand total of… a little over $146 million to split seven ways.” He smiled at them. “You’re welcome.”

The group just stared back at him, not a single one of them quite knowing what to say - some of them still trying to figure out whether to still be angry or to celebrate. Finally, Warren stepped forward, breaking the silence with a firm frown on his face. Still, he didn’t try to reach for his taser, so Repo considered that a good sign. 

“Roderick, let me just say from the bottom of my heart… Never call me again.”

“It was nice workin’ with you too, Stone,” Repo told him, giving him his and Ron’s envelopes, “Even if you are still a pain in the ass.”

“ _Never. Again,_ ” Warren emphasized, baring his teeth at him before walking away, taking his husband’s hand. Ron also gave Repo a bit of a look before leaving, though admittedly the extra amount they were getting made it hard to be too annoyed.

The Sandos certainly were happy, thanking Repo profusely and the three of them sharing high fives and fist bumps all around. “Make sure to send me a couple postcards, alright?” Repo told them.

“You got it!” “Wish us luck! Crab-cobatics here we come!” Repo just chuckled, rolling his eyes as the next crew member stepped up.

“You really do have a lot of gall, you know that, Manti?” Rupert told him.

“Guess that’s another thing we gots in common, Swaggart,” Repo retorted, “We both got egos, and we’s got the skills to back ‘em up. Speaking of which, you gonna invite me to the grand opening of that restaurant of yours?”

“If I see you within ten feet of it, I’ll have you shot on-sight.”

“Fair enough, hate you too.” With that, there was only one person left. “Don’t even bother askin’, I remembered your 7% bonus,” he said, handing her both her share and her dragon.

“Good,” Kendra said, barely even acknowledging him as she took the items. It was only after she looked inside the envelope and confirmed its contents did she bother glancing up at him. “I don’t like being kept in the dark, you know.” She was used to leading, to knowing things (tech or otherwise) inside and out. “But, lucky for you, it worked out. So I’ll let it slide… this time.”

Repo tilted his head, a bit surprised at that. “Does that mean you’d be willin’ to work with me again, kid?”

“Hmph.” She just smirked, turning away. “Ask me after my vacation, pops!”

Repo chuckled. Well, that was one more connection to keep in mind then. “How about that?” With a mob no longer ready to rip him to shreds and no police sirens heading his way, he headed back inside.

\-------------------------------------------------------

“Here you are, Miss Arachna,” the jeweler said cheerfully, presenting the velvet box to her.

“My, that was fast,” she told him, “I didn’t think I’d get this back until tomorrow.”

“Well of course! We would never make one of our best customers wait - especially after all you’ve been through.”

Morganna hummed, taking the box. Before opening it, she asked, “And everything seemed in order with it?”

The jeweler nodded. “Yes, ma’am. I examined it myself, and I assure you it’s completely legitimate. No scratches or chips either, thank goodness.” Wanting to see that for herself, Morganna opened it up, and saw the Ruby Spider staring back at her. A symbol of both wealth and power. A necklace passed down from her mother, her mother’s mother, and so on, representing a legacy that she was to continue - that she had continued successfully, though that wasn’t going to stop her anytime soon.

“Thank you,” Morganna nodded, satisfied. Closing up the box, she tipped the jeweler personally with cash from her own purse before taking the elevator upstairs to her top floor bedroom. Once there, she walked over to her ‘jewelry box’. 

As she put her precious family heirloom away, it barely took more than a glance for her to realize that several bracelets, rings and brooches she had were fake - something she had suspected since the moment Stanley had returned her necklace. Nothing as personally valuable as the Ruby Spider had been taken - she’d be able to replace all of it within a week - but they would certainly fetch whoever snatched them a pretty penny.

“Well played,” she muttered, actually smiling a little to herself, “Very well played.” People didn't get to statuses such as hers without making a few enemies. This hadn’t been the first time someone had tried to rob her, thinking they were daring (or foolish) enough to do the near impossible, and she was certain it wouldn’t be the last time either. 

However, this had been one of the few times where someone had actually put a decent amount of thought into it instead of just smashing a window or waving a pistol in her face and thinking that would be good enough.

This person - or persons, because there was no way they pulled it off alone - kept her distracted, making sure she was in a situation where she had to still save face and couldn’t properly do all she could to destroy any chance of stopping them. They somehow hacked into her security, diverting footage from the cameras to somewhere else, making it seem like all the halls of her hotel had been clear the entire night. They found ways of sneaking in and out without attracting attention, blending in and going with the flow just long enough for her to miss them completely. And, as the smartest play of all, they weren’t too cocky, leaving her most valuable possession alone and unharmed in the end while still wiping away any evidence of fingerprints.

She had almost laughed when the police chief asked her if she wanted them to detain Stanley, as if her front desk bellhop was some master thief. The boy was loyal to a fault, confident when it came to performing his job but awkward and clumsy when it came to almost everything else. If she had really wanted to interrogate him about where he had ‘found’ the necklace, she was certain he would’ve spilled the beans easily… Just as it would have been easy for her to pick apart the previous night, find the few leads her opponent had forgotten about or overlooked and begin her intense search for them. 

But, even Big Mama could be merciful occasionally, when it was earned. It was a well-played game, she had to admit that, and they had returned the piece she actually cared about with no string attached, even if it was most likely just to save their own skin, so why not a little reward? Let them enjoy their spoils while they could, a one-time gift for their efforts.

...Of course, when they tried again - because nobody bold enough to try it once would dare stop themselves from trying a similar scheme again in the hopes of an even bigger success - she would be waiting and ready to play again, like a spider on a web, preparing for another challenge from her prey…

Across the city, Repo was relaxing in his bed. His radio was playing some 60s station that his old man used to listen to, mellow tunes that were the perfect backdrop for working on a car, playing some poker or even just sleeping the night away. And speaking of sleeping, while his old mattress was now a lot lumpier thanks to the bundles of cash now stuffed under it, he had a feeling he was about to get one of the best sleeps of his life.

He sat up slightly, reaching over to his nightstand for a quick swig of bottled homemade lemonade (courtesy of Todd, who else), and Nubbins immediately complained. “My mouth was dry, gimme a break,” Repo told her. Once he sat his bottle back down, he started petting her again, causing Nubbins to start purring up a storm. Repo chuckled at her, mumbling pet names and silly little affections under his breath. Between the scritches and a belly full of fresh tuna and Fancy Feast, it was no wonder she was so happy.

The sun outside was getting lower and lower, making for a rich pink backdrop behind the dark mountains of scrap metal and old tires. It was hard to believe that even after the previous night he had spent his entire Saturday chilling out. Still, he knew it wasn’t going to last, no matter how many millions he was sleeping on.

There would always be new opportunities - to find a good deal or make one himself, to find a new project or an old car to rebuild or tear apart, or even just to make a few quick bucks. But for now, he was alright with just taking it easy after a job well done.

Because, Repo had decided as he admired the sunset, a semi-sweet taste still on his lips and his spoiled yet loving cat by his side, in that moment... life was pretty good.

**THE END**


End file.
